shiverzone 1 / - Jan 16, 2012 #1this is an common application short essay I need your help to revise!1.please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below."Einheit" which means "togetherness", or "united" in German is an acappella group that I participated as a president for the group during the freshman year. While I sang in this ensemble, I am attracted by one idea which a cappella has: staying in balance and harmony while each one keeps one's individual voice. Each part sang for their own key and rhythm, but the "a cappella" is finally completed when every part is combined for their melodies, timings and rhythms into one performance. I love the collaboration of many people who has characteristic voices.The other point I am fascinated about is that we sang in German and with international students from Germany. There were pleasant moments to interact with people from different culture and learn both their language and customs through singing together. It seemed hard to reconcile people who have manifold voices, tones, personalities, and even nationalities. However singing as a "united" group, Einheit, we became one.
Essay_Writer - / 7 Jan 16, 2012 #2"Einheit" which means "togetherness", or "united" in German is an acappella group that I participated as a president for the grouppresided over during the freshman year. While I sang in this ensemble, I amwasattracted by one idea which a cappella hasinspired by the idea originating from the cappella : staying in balance and harmony while each one keeps one's individual voice. Each partperson sang for their own key and rhythm, but the "a cappella" is finally completed when each everypart is combined for person combines their melodies, timings and rhythms into one performance. I love the collaboration of many people who hashave characteristic voices.The other point I am got fascinated about iswas that we sang in German and with international students from Germany. There were pleasant moments to interact with people from different cultures and learn both their languages and customs through singing together. It seemed hard to reconcile people who have manifold voices, tones, personalities, and even nationalities. However singing as a "united" group, Einheit, we became one.I have fixed the grammatical errors but to be honest with you the way you've put together the essay, it makes little sense...just my two cents....
