Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).
Missouri YMCA Youth in Government is a program designed to teach high school students about how state government functions. Participants may choose to take part in any part of the governmental process. I choose to participate in the mock state legislature where one writes a bill and attempts to make it "law." Our club meets twice a week to write our bills and go over program information. As an officer, I am responsible for helping students with the writing of their bills. In November, delegations from around the state meet in Jefferson City to hold the legislature. We stay for a long weekend experiencing the whole lawmaking process. My first year, as a junior, I won the Legislative Catalyst Award given to an outstanding legislator. I regret not participating in this club as a freshmen or sophomore!
Should I add more about myself? I feel like all I'm doing is describing the activity, but is that not what the question is asking?
I think you should add more about what this activity brings to you instead of writing about what the activity is. How you feel about your experience is really important~
good luck! :)
I think you can do without the "I regret not joining earlier" quote. To answer your question, yes, you should add more about yourself because yes, it is an activity description. Briefly describe the activity and then go into its meaning on you. Short, I know, but you gotta work it :p. Best of luck!!!
I think you should definitely add more about yourself. Explain why it all interests you and why your are passionate about it. Remember, each essay in your application, be it short or long, is a chance for you to show the Admission Officers who you really are beyond your test scores, grades, and whatnot. Try to focus on what qualities or skills you have developed through this extracurricular activity and how it has molded you to be come a better student - the kind that colleges want.
However, other than that bit, I think your essay was well-written. Like I said, just add more personality and it will be great!
Good luck! (I myself am working on this short answer as well :)))
Thanks for the feedback!
I wrote this a while back and have since read others which seem much more personal and, naturally, became nervous this wasn't up to scratch. Ill edit out some of the unnecessary informational sentences and ad personal reflection.
Thanks again, all! And good luck in your college search!
