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Common App Short Answer - Gift of Fingers


jjeff 4 / 9  
Dec 7, 2009   #1
Common App Short Answer:
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer)

Playing the piano is my gift to the world. Though I strive to play with much passion and emphasis, piano, I learned, is mostly about the story. Like my teacher says, "Music is a tale. If you can tell a story through your music, you can capture many hearts and many minds." My grandmother, especially, loves such stories. She is always relieved of stress and fear whenever I play the piano. At the local hospital, where I volunteered as performer, I took patients through similar riverbeds of Sonatas, Etudes, and Chinese folklore. In one performance, an elderly woman in her wheelchair rolled by my door and stopped, listening intently to the notes that I played. Her smiles and happiness radiated from her face, and I just could not help but feel overjoyed. Given my portfolio of tales, I know I will remain a pianist and forever a giver of gifts.

DrAculEX 3 / 6  
Dec 8, 2009   #2
Hello..

Some corrections which are needed (to the best of my knowledge):
"At the local hospital, where I volunteered as a performer, I took many patients..."
"The happiness in her smile radiated from her face...."

PS. please check out my essay...
AshlynMarquez 1 / 3  
Dec 8, 2009   #3
Given my portfolio of tales, I know (these encounters will inspire and fulfill my fervency to continue giving my gift, as a pianist does . I will remain a pianist and forever a giver of gifts.

When you mention your patients riverbeds, you should describe your grandmothers relief as a word describing a riverbed or going down a path similar to a river bed, to make the comparison correct.

"She is always relieved, fearlessly floating down a serene path" <something like that>


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