Please help my Common App short Answer
Toes, heels, toes, jump, breathe, and relax; jumping rope requires some of the simplest movements and actions from the human body, but it serves as a form of mental and physical training that I perform every day. While my body persists against the temptations to surrender from tiredness, my mind is free from all complexity and stressful matters. As my muscles become sore and loosen up, all that was on my mind clears up, leaving only the thought of joy in my head; a joy from releasing my pressures, a joy from realizing I am still living. At the climax, I stop to take in and taste this great moment, then continue to jump again.
Thank you!
What was the prompt for this?
Why is "Toes, Heels, Toes," capitalized? I would make them lowercase because it is in the middle of the sentence unless it's a reference to something that I don't know.
Prompt about describing your activity.)
I was trying to talk about when you do jumping rope your toes goes down first and then your heels goes down after... do you have any idea how to fix this? Please? thank you
Ah okay, that's what I thought you were trying to say... I just wasn't sure :)
In that case I would just make all three lower case. Everything else seems great!
Thank you so much, Katlynedwards!!
I hope you have a great new year
and if there is anything better to edit please let me know:D
As my muscles become sore and loosen up, all that was on my mind clears up, leaving only the thought of joy in my head; a joy from releasing my pressures, a joy from realizing I am still living.
Semicolons should be followed by a complete sentence
I think in this case you could use dash
This revised paragraphs looks a lot better than the first one! good job! :)
...jumping rope requires some of the simplest movements and actions from the human body, but it serves as a form of mental and physical training that I perform every day.----this seems a little bit like a "non sequitor" ... like... what I mean is... it does not follow that the movements are simple, but I do it every day. You could say the movements are simple, but they require synergy of body and mind, or something like that.
...jumping rope requires some of the simplest movements and actions from the human body, but it serves as a form of mental and physical training that I perform every day takes a profound effect on me and lasts throughout the day.
or something like that...
:-)
