As I wait impatiently in his office, my father finishes describing my part in the preparation of his client's defense. "Your work will help us argue not only for (name of client) freedom, but for his life," he concludes. I am stunned and feel a weight placed on my shoulders. "I thought I was just briefing depositions," I stutter. I work intently at my task-creating a map which tracks the key players' movements the day of the murders. I review cell phone billing records and chart tower site locations. I calculate the coverage area, construct the travel route and record the GPS data. Through my work, I uncover an anomaly. A cell phone signal is miles outside the coverage area, calling into question the accuracy of the cell phone data. I carefully prepare a visual representation of the evidence. Now I understand the importance of the battles my father wages.
AJGraves
This is a good start to an essay, what is the prompt? If you could add a little more background information that would bring the reader into your shoes, which is what you want.
is this the activity description for the common app? if so, i would change the last sentence to be more summative and so that it better indicates that it is about an activity that you do, not your father's job.
also, here i would combine the sentence with a colon:
Through my work, I uncover an anomaly. A cell phone signal is miles outside the coverage area, calling into question the accuracy of the cell phone data.
aguafria22 - this is the prompt - In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
Does anyone know if it has to be in "present tense" or "past tense". Although the case hasn't been tried yet, I compiled the data for my dad this summer. The Co-defendant got sentenced today - death - so the stakes are high.
Thanks so much for any input. It was an eye opening experience.
I don't think which tense matters, it is about sticking with whatever tense you choose. Keeping it in the present tense will give it a more real and suspenseful feel.
