This doesn't really fit to any of the Common App prompts, so I guess I'll use it under the "write whatever you want" prompt.
Goop-off is a carcinogen, did you know that? It says so on the can, very clearly stating, "insert quote here". But despite its death dealing vapor, it's a wonderful cleaning agent especially for CPU heatsinks. So I hold my breath, fighting the burning instinct to inhale as I attempt to remove one last speck of dirt before pausing to dash off a couple yards give my lungs reprieve.
I built my own computer after the last one I had begun performing abysmally in all situations, even typing a simple word document. Building a computer from individual parts turned out to not be very hard at all, and rather enlightening in how beautiful electronics were, fans whirring and whizzing, LEDs glowing brightly. But at the time, it wasn't the intricacies of the electronics that intrigued me, but rather the idea of creating a high performance yet cheap computer, as a sports car would excite a man; I wanted to experience the speed and power of something new. But what I found when I had finished building my computer was that the computer seemed to be simply a tool-I wasn't interested terribly much in Microsoft Word or the storyline of the game "Portal," rather I ran endless benchmarks, detailing the speed, voltages, and stability of my computer. I had thought that my excitement building my computer was in anticipation for what I could use my new computer for, but it seemed to really be building and testing the computer hardware itself. It was the detailing and cataloging parts and performance, and making my computer faster and better through overclocking and tweaking that interested me.
And now that I think about it, playing with my "toys" has never been a past-time of mine; I prefer to build and create. Even in Christmases past when I would receive a new Lego creation, full of shiny new plastic pieces which I could put together to form a spaceship or a house, I remember building the creation, but then forgetting about it, leaving it for my brother or sister to role-play with. It's not that I didn't appreciate the present, I did, but it no longer held any mystery. There were no more discoveries to be made. I guess in that sense I'm not a very good 'geek,' as I'd rather fiddle with the parts in my computer or play with electric fans than camp overnight in front of a GameStop to buy the greatest and latest video game. I can admire my handiwork, but my joy and excitement is not from the finished product, but rather from the process of synthesizing the ideas that form and allow the assembly of it. In creating a product, a unique product, I feel I am contributing something to the world.
Understanding the intricacies of how items are put together, all parts working in uniform to create a larger work, a larger meaning seems an impossible pursuit sometimes; understand one part and realize you don't understand another, but the process of overcoming those issues and fulfilling goals is what satisfies my urge to build. And even if I fail, and am unable to fulfill my dream and bring a project to completion, that doesn't erase the knowledge and experience I gained. It doesn't erase the joy either.
However, this doesn't all mean that I cannot enjoy life and forget about analyzing items, I did enjoy the storyline of the game "Portal" and I do remember picking up that Lego spaceship a few days later and running around the house with it, but in the heat of the moment, and it's not that cleaning my CPU heatsink for 30 minutes doesn't become a bore after away, it's just that what really interests me isn't consuming a product, but creating something unique.
And of course, grammatical corrections are appreciated as well.
But at the time, it wasn't the intricacies of the electronics that intrigued me, but rather the idea of creating a high performance yet cheapeconomic? or maybe affordable? computer, as a sports car would excite a man; I wanted to experience the speed and power of something new.
I had thought that my excitement building my computer was in anticipation for what I could use my new computer for, but it seemed to really be the process of building and testing the computer hardware itself.
I can admire my handiwork, but my joy and excitement is not from the finished product, but rather from the process of synthesizing the ideas that form and allowing (Follow parallel structure since you used "synthesizing" earlier the assembly of it. In creating a product, a unique product,masterpiece maybe? to avoid unnecessary repetition I feel I am contributing something to the world.
This is a wonderful topic. It shows your love for creating products and emphasizes your determination to conquer your difficulties. Your essay is well-written and fully developed. Would you mind taking a look at mine?
So I hold my breath, fighting the burning instinct to inhale as I attempt to remove one last speck of dirt before pausing to dash off a couple yards and give my lungs reprieve.
I want to say "you did a really nice job with this essay" but that sounds overused. I don't think I could do anything to make this essay better. You clearly and vividly portrayed yourself as an individual and I could picture the story you told.
Sorry I'm not of much help -_-
If you don't mind, could you take a look at a newer version of my essay you commented on earlier (it's the post underneath yours)?
Haha, it's ok thanks.
Boost for the ego is never not appreciated, thanks for the compliment :P.
One thing I'm worried about is that I do far to much of "telling" in terms of what kind of person I am, and less showing--which is difficult with my topic...
Anybody else?
My qualm is that while I do characterize myself, do colleges want an essay where an event happens or something that affects me, and I detail those effects? Or do they not care. I'm just not sure exactly what colleges are looking for--and if my essay fulfills their criteria.
