Topic: The different things I aspire to achieve one day.
I am lying on my bed, exhausted after completing my homework and am glad to finally have a chance to relax. I'm thinking about whether doing all this work will actually serve any purpose or am I just doing it for no real reason. Suddenly certain images appear in my head and I become more comfortable by the second. Maybe it's phase one of sleep setting in, I don't know, but whatever it is I allow it to progress.
Suddenly I am wearing a simple but presentable suit and am standing in front of a board full of symbols, letters and alphabets. I am explaining what these symbols represent to the eager minds before me. I am a professor at a top university teaching students and researching what I feel passionate about, and doing so is highly satisfying me. I know that I am helping young individuals secure their futures and pursue their ambitions. I know that I am spreading knowledge. I know that I am spreading something which enriches and enlightens human beings and doing so is allowing me to lead a fulfilling life of my own.
Everything disappears for a while but then another series of images starts to appear. I am now a man being interviewed about a book which I have recently written. I am explaining to the man interviewing me about how I always wanted to preserve my thoughts and emotions in the form of words and how the book I've written does exactly that. I am telling him about how as a young man I was not always articulate and how much of a long way I've come from that. I am telling him about the intellectual satisfaction I gain by writing and how I am happy about the success and positive feedback towards the book. I am a successful writer, writing meaningful and expressive books. This image starts to fade out again and a new and a much more grandiose one starts to appear.
I am now standing on a stage, before a huge audience who is applauding me. I have won a prestigious prize for bringing about an innovation in an academic field. I see my mother shedding tears of joy along with the thrilled faces of my sisters and my close friends. I give an inspirational speech, trying to control my own emotions and get off the stage with something truly valuable in my hands. My mother hugs me and tells me how I have fulfilled her dreams. I am incredibly happy for two reasons. First one is that I have made my mother, someone I dearly love, a happy and proud woman. Second reason is that I have overcome one of my largest fears: Not being able to reach what I am truly capable of.
I finally see myself among a crowd, wearing corpsepaint on my face and a black shirt with the grim reaper on it. I am at a concert of my favorite metal band, banging my head and enjoying every second of it. I still know how to have fun and enjoy life in simple and non-cerebral ways.
I wake up, look at the clock and start thinking about all the different people I had seen myself as. At first I think it is just a dream and it is only in a magical fantasy-land would I be able to achieve what I had dreamed about. However, I then remember that only people who one day had dreams, achieved greatness.
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This is pretty much a rough draft and I need your help to edit it and make it better. Comment on it as well.
I'll also happily read yours.
I think it's an interesting approach. You could add how you plan to achieve these dreams to develop the essay more.
I agree with the comment above me. A more in-depth analysis of why you want to become a professor would really enhance the essay.
Can I have feedback on my essays?
Thanks guys. I would think about how I can incorporate that.
Can anyone else comment on it in a little more depth? Maybe make certain editions to it.
It's interesting, although I might be cautious since it does seem a bit pretentious. Also, show not tell. You keep talking about I'll do this, I'll do that, but how? and why? give me details.
WELL IT'S INTERESTING BUT YOU HAVE TO ADD SOME PLANES TO IT
I guess I'll have to make some mega-edits to it today then.
Anyone else?
I am lying on my bed, exhausted after completing my homework and am glad to finally have a chance to relax.
Maybe it's just phase one of sleep setting in, or maybe it is __________, but whatever it is I allow it to progress. (now add one more sentence to the end of this first para... a sentence that suggests to the reader something about the main idea of the essay.. something that hints at your main theme that is about to unfold.
:-)
