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Common App Essay: My experience as a Volunteer EMT


NEENA1234 1 / 1  
Dec 19, 2016   #1
Common App Prompt: 1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (Still have 150 words to go)

My experience as a Volunteer EMT



Stepping out of the ambulance onto the interstate, my heart tightened as I glanced at the gruesome sight in front of me: a motorcyclist clutching his twisted leg in pain as he lay in a pool of shattered glass. I stood shocked at the sight of this dreadful scene, however, there was no time to cope with the sight. My captain yelled at me to apply pressure to the bleeding would. I set aside my initial shock and snapped into focus. My fellow EMT handed me a splint which I pressed and bandaged against the leg. My captain called dispatch for a medical helicopter to transport the victim. As an EMT, I could draw on my training and experience to work efficiently and effectively in this high-pressure situation to fulfill my duty.

At 16, I became a member of my local fire and rescue squad. I was filled with a mixture of excitement and nervousness from the moment my application was accepted. Walking into the fire station for the first time, I had no idea what to expect. I entered the EMS office where I was greeted by a group of old men as I realized I was one of two people underage the age of 40. From the onset of the shift, it was evident my new crew was a close knit second family where I felt like an outsider. Over the next weeks, I stayed back and observed the actions of my crew members, feeling more like a liability than an asset. I was determined to change this. While the rest of my crew watched TV or joked among themselves, I was in the back of the ambulance familiarizing myself with equipment such as the EKG machine, electronic cot, various types of bandages, and first aid medical supplies. As I became a more useful member of the crew, I simultaneously developed a sense of camaraderie with my crew.

As a young EMT, I learned simple patient care: taking vitals, bandaging wounds, and interacting with patients. For a couple of months, the only calls we received were from nursing homes for falls and scrapes. Although these routine calls were excellent training to practice my skills without a time constraint, I was itching for more serious calls where my actions could mean the difference between life and death. When the call for a hit and run accident on the interstate came in, my prior training and commitment came together to allow me to potentially save someone's life.

Being a successful EMS provider requires me to be diligent, quick thinking, and responsible. Complete strangers trust you with their lives when 911 is dialed. It is my responsibility to provide the highest level of care and to represent the high standards of the profession. I must confidently execute procedures, such as splinting a leg without hesitation, requiring me to be a quick thinker. Earlier I was reluctant to provide care on my own but this call thrust me into action and I gained the confidence necessary to be successful.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Dec 20, 2016   #2
Neena, this is a very strong narrative. It really shows your civic background and your desire to be helpful to others. The essay is quite long in this regard and yet, I am left with a question about this background story. How does it apply to the person that you are today in relation to your major? True, this is a story that speaks volumes about your character development. I admire the person whose story is told in the essay. But what is the point of it all? Since you still have some word count allowance available, I believe that you should use that count to create a paragraph that details how this has helped you realize your dream of becoming a -- whatever it is that your course major will result in with regards to your profession.

Overall, the story is engaging, well spaced, and has taken the needs of the reader for clear information presentation into consideration with the development of the paragraphs. Good work doing that. Now, let's see if we can add some weight to the background story by connecting your personality development with your choice of majors.
OP NEENA1234 1 / 1  
Dec 21, 2016   #3
@Holt
Thank you for the praise and the advice you gave up. What do you think of adding this paragraph?

Volunteering as an EMS provider has sparked my interest in medicine. Prior to joining, I was not sure whether if medicine was for me however my enjoyment as an EMS provider as cemented my dream of becoming a doctor. During my experiences, I always enthusiastic to learn to use various medical technologies. I learned to use an electrocardiogram among other technologies which focused my initial broad interest in medical field to Biomedical Engineering. One of my future goals in addition to practicing medicine, is to be actively involved in emergency medicine. I plan to continue my training as EMT by joining a rescue agency either at the college I go to or in the college town. This will allow me to potentially take a medic class and become a medic while I go to college.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Dec 22, 2016   #4
Neena, cut this paragraph. Make it end at the point where you discuss Biomedical Engineering. That offers the most complete background information for the prompt. The rest of the discussion in the paragraph talks about your future plans, which, as you can tell from the word future, is not related to the background story that you are expected to relate. So let's put a pin in this portion and save it for a more relevant discussion in some other common app prompt, if required to do so.

After you discuss the Biomedical Engineering portion, you can close that paragraph and work on developing a strong closing statement regarding your background. Discuss how the exposure that you received has helped you decide on what your future career should be and you look forward to using your previous experiences whenever possible in your classes.


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