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Common App Essay - Immigrating from Russia

ivantheperson 1 / -  
Oct 29, 2020   #1

Common App Essay prompts

I'm either responding to prompt 1 or 7 on the common app essay but I can't decide which.
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Just want to get some more feedback and if there is anything to change

A sandwich sounds like a simple meal, yet it's anything but. There is an infinite combination of meats and cheeses, not to mention all of the different toppings. From my first day at work to now, two years later, it is exceptionally rare to have a customer come in with an identical order to someone else. This is a small, family-owned business, and the owners pride themselves on their ability to cater to each individual's needs.

When a customer walks into the store I, sometimes, like to guess what they are going to order. Making a sandwich begins with the bread. The meats and cheeses come next, and get cut by the slicer. Then, the sandwich gets slid down to the next station and is ready for all the toppings to be added. Thus, with every customer, the guessing game begins.

Are they going to get a whole or a half sandwich? What kind of bread: white or whole wheat? What about the cheese? American? Swiss? Or maybe they will be quirky and choose provolone. Or they do not even want any cheese. Each of their choices leads to them further defining their palette. Although I can offer my expertise, I know it is not ultimately my place to dictate their sandwich preferences. So, they continue. Which one of the 15 meats are they feeling today?

I would compare my life to that of a sandwich. The bread was chosen for me when I was born in Russia. As a city boy, my life was average and comfortable, like plain white bread. Every year, that comfort solidified and built the foundation of who I am today. My sandwich is heavily padded with lots of lettuce.

As a sandwich maker, out of habit, I sometimes put something on that the customer does not want. For example, onions. But once the sandwich is wrapped up, there is nothing they can do, and they have to eat it regardless. The more they eat it, the more likely they are to come around and actually start to enjoy the flavor. My onions were a sudden move to the US. Just like the customer, at first, I was not open to it. I made snarky comments, thought I could change something, but eventually swallowed it and kept going with my life, and adapting. It was a reaction of avoidance of change, rather than a lack of desire to live in a new world.

Understandably, the coming year was filled with confusion, unpredictabilities, and strangeness, similar to the pungent taste of raw white onion. As I learned English and matured, the confusion dissipated and I became more confident. And so the pungent taste of the onions got covered up with tomatoes -- being able to communicate with the workers in sub places, like my future self made me feel like I could finally build my own sub.

Quickly, I came around and began to enjoy my new life. The strong taste that oil and vinegar add, complimenting the lettuce, was now a welcome delight. I added the meat, and the cheese, but my favorite component is the seasoning. For me, this was the moment when I started to really explore my interests and found my passion in disassembling computers to put them back together.

Similar to making a sandwich, putting together a computer is a personal process. It is a hobby I picked up around the time that the US started to taste good. It matches my approach in life: each step impacts the next, just like the choices I make each day as a person, son, student, worker, brother, and immigrant. I look forward to the day when I can taste the results of the sub I put together.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,904 3559  
Oct 30, 2020   #2
This is a good open topic essay. I get what you mean by the sandwich comparison. You may way to think about revising the presentation though. I found it a bit confusing to read so much at the beginning about the making of a sandwich for someone else. Use a more applicable parallelism in the conversation. One that will relate 3 clear thing sin the discussion: Your being a deli master, how a sandwich is made, and how the sandwich making process applies to your current life. Being more focused on the sandwich, thatyou call your life will have a clearer and better impact on the reviewer. You keep the essay on point and don't confuse the discussion with irrelevant reference points such as how other people make their sandwich.

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