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Common app essay about influential fictional character. "Don't forget the hyphen"


lehrling12 2 / 5 1  
Dec 19, 2012   #1
Prompt - Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

Am I good enough?

I have always been insecure about myself due to my fear of judgment by those around me. It made me question my thoughts and abilities. I always asked myself if I was good enough, but never really looked for an answer; my insecurities kept me frozen in place.

This changed when I was introduced to Spider-Man. Although he may not be from a respected novel, I immediately fell in love with his wall crawling, crime-fighting antics.

Spider-man is a super hero motivated by the notion of responsibility given to him along with his powers. He is deemed a menace to society and no one truly trusts him. However, he never retires the mask because he believes that even they may need his help one day. He has sworn to protect the innocent, no matter their opinion of him. Spider-man is usually out-ranked by his fellow superheroes. To them, he is just some guy that can stick to walls and shoot webs out of his hand. Despite this, Spider-man is always there and ready. He knows that he is not the best superhero and knows he probably never will be, but that does not keep him from doing his best to protect the innocent. With great power, comes great responsibility; and he lives by these words, no matter what others think of him.

Now the real question is: Am I ready?

After looking at things from a different perspective, I now realize that none of my past worries matter at all. I was always concerned about my own worth and how others perceived me. These never should have been my priorities; instead, my priorities should lie in my responsibility as a student.

I was losing touch with my academics and my hard-earned friends who I befriended when I moved from Korea. I was so worried about others' opinions, that I isolated myself from my friends. I now understand that I should not fear their judgment; I should be bold enough to endure their negativity. I should be strong enough to have my own opinion and be who I am. That is what Spider-Man did, even when the world was against him.

The reason I was obsessed with my worth was because I always saw myself as mediocre. I was never at the top of my class, just like how Spider-man felt among other superheroes. However, I realized that sulking over my mediocrity will not change my state for better. I learned that it does not matter if I am recognized or not, or even if I become the best. What matters is how much I commit to what I do and that I put forth my best effort in all my responsibilities. That is what Spider-Man did when the odds were always against him.

So, my answer to the new question is: maybe, but that does not mean I will not try.

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That's my essay. I've been working on it for a while but I want to see what opinions you guys would have. Please be very critical if you see anything I need to add or take out.

Thank you.
brazilian01 2 / 28 1  
Dec 19, 2012   #2
I really liked your essay, especially the first two paragraphs and the last one. But I think that the phrase here

Now the real question is: Am I ready?

didn't do a good job of connecting the first part to the second one.
MHKHRY 5 / 21 6  
Dec 19, 2012   #3
Your essay is great! I think that this is very creative, however, brazilian01 is right, "Now the real question is: Am I ready?" doesn't really help you combine the two paragraphs. Also, the quote "with great power comes great responsibility" is not made by you, it is best to give credit where credit is due. So put that quote in parenthesizes.
OP lehrling12 2 / 5 1  
Dec 19, 2012   #4
Thank you all for your helpful feedback. However, does anybody think I don't express myself too much? Or am I not going into enough detail?

A few people have been telling me this and can't find a way to do it without putting more words in.
MHKHRY 5 / 21 6  
Dec 19, 2012   #5
Maybe it is because the majority of the essay is written about Spider-man. Try using a few less sentences to describe spider-man and then make the comparison to YOU, your life by giving a detailed example that explains why you felt so "inadequate"

(I don't know you but if you were mediocre I don't think that you would feel confident enough to have people criticize your work, you seem like a very cool person to me, just saying) :)

Can you review one of my essays please, preferably the one concerning NYU, thanks
OP lehrling12 2 / 5 1  
Dec 19, 2012   #6
Thank you for that. Gave me a better direction of what to do with it.


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