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common app influential person - best friend Ryan


bpsullivan92 2 / 3  
Oct 25, 2009   #1
my main issue is is this a good essay and did i focus enough on how i have changed.

It took all of high school to appreciate what an influence my best friend Ryan has been in my life. Ryan is the type of person that will discuss at length the style of Mahler, the type of musician that will continuously strive for perfection, and the type of best friend that will always take time to talk with me when I need him most. Going through high school with such a remarkable person, I have acquired some of his characteristics and qualities. Not only have I come to appreciate the world of classical music, but I also have come to understand what determination really means and how the success achieved from determination is so satisfying.

Ryan's love for classical music is clearly noticeable at first glance of his ipod's playlist. I was halfway through my freshman year when I looked through his music selection. I questioned nearly every composer on his list. From that point on, I have received numerous CDs filled with Still's Little Folk Suites, Ravel's Ma Mère l'Oye, Debussy's Children's Corner, and more. I actively listened to each piece and slowly came to understand the emotion and power behind them. Three years later, I take the initiative to find composers and pieces that connect to me, like Hindemith's Symphonic Metamorphosis, Varèse's Déserts, and Grainger's Lincolnshire Posy. Not only do I find enjoyment in the music, but I have a deeper understanding of the music I play in band and orchestra.

While I value the new world of music Ryan has brought to me, my life has equally been altered by how Ryan achieves musical success. Everyday at lunch, Ryan goes to the band room and diligently practices on audition excerpts, pieces we are currently working on in class, or etudes for the sole purpose of improving skill. Ryan's work ethic has taught me that hard work and determination is the key to success. I have since applied this concept to my aspiration of becoming a math professor. My desire to achieve this goal keeps me focused in math classes when a below normal test score brings my spirits down. This dream pushed me to join mu alpha theta, the math tutoring club, to test my abilities of helping others understand difficult concepts. I diligently work on my math homework so I can learn the concept at hand that takes me one step closer to my dream. Because of the example Ryan unknowingly set before me, I learned not only how to be focused and determined, but how to apply it to achieve success in anything.

Ryan accepts me and loves me exactly as I am and unknowingly has had a significant influence on my life. He has enhanced it with his love for classical music and altered it with his example of determination in succeeding musically. Next year, we will both be off to pursue our dreams miles away from each other. However, I know that a part of Ryan will always be there for me.
ebby2010 10 / 51  
Oct 25, 2009   #2
"Ryan is the type of person that will discuss at length the style of Mahler, the type of musician that will continuously strive for perfection;, and the type of best friend that will always take time to talk with me when I need him most."

"Not only do I find enjoyment in the music, but I have a deeper understanding of the music I play in band and orchestra." <-- i don't think this sentence is necessary; it doesn't fit in well with the rest of the essay.

"...Ryan accepts me and loves me exactly as I am" <-- that's not necessary either.

you should read over your essay to correct a few tiny grammar mistakes b/c from what I hear, those really matter!!

other than that,i think this is a pretty good essay and you definitely focused enough on how you changed.

E.Z. =)


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