any critique and advice is welcome.
please let me know if this reveals enough about myself and shows character or is too bland.
One night, I was on the phone talking to one of my friends from India. We had been the best friends before I moved to the U.S. We were in all of the same classes, and both did well in school and sports. After a while of exchanging pleasantries, the topic of education entered our discussion. I described to him how I had just finished my eleventh grade year. I let him know of the difficulty of the classes, and how I had struggled to maintain good grades in them, the classes being the hardest ones I had taken yet. Upon hearing this, his only response was that he had taken all of those classes in his ninth grade year and had excelled in all of them. I was appalled.
After the initial shock of hearing this statement, I did not wallow in a sea of self-degradation, but was rather apathetic to the situation. This education gap between the US and other countries, such as China and India, did not bother me that much. I thought that it was not important anymore since I was already in the twelfth grade and could not do much about it now. Although I was a bit disappointed and taken aback, I was rather unconcerned and did not know why this issue was significant.
I decided that it would only benefit me to do some more research on this topic. I looked up plenty of statistics, articles, and other such things to gain more knowledge on this issue. Upon finishing many hours of research, my outlook completely changed. I realized how vast the differences were between the U.S. and other parts of the world on both the view and focus on education, and on the content and level of learning. My original apathy completely vanished and was replaced instead by worry and concern, for the situation. I now realized that this pertained to every student who has gone to a public school, not just the people yet to go to school. I did not see previously that I was a product of that education system, and that now as I started in college and later in the working world, I would already be two steps behind my competitors from India and China in this new global workplace.
I could not believe that this had been allowed to happen and decided to try and do something to help myself advance in this competitive world. Upon this discovery of the issue, I started to work much harder in school and to excel there, but I also began studying as much as I could outside of school. Attempting to learn what I could, ahead of our school curriculum and things we may not have even learnt in school. This issue is of great importance to me because it relates to my number one priority right now: education. Learning of this problem has led me to become a more focused, and determined individual, confident on doing all possible to bridge the gap of education present in the world.
I think that this is a very important issue and you illustrated its gravity well in your essay. I would suggest that you talk about how you think these gaps can be bridged, not only for yourself, but for the millions of other Americans in the public schooling system. With a few minor tweaks you've got a superb essay.
