I'm not sure whether I should classify this essay under the prompt "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you" or as "topic of your choice."
Comments, suggestions, revisions, etc. are welcome. Thanks!
As I glanced around the main conference room, my eyes skimmed past fifteen heads to rest on the glass-paneled walls. They were magnificent; almost every inch was covered with scribbled ideas, proposals, and programming jargon. I stared admiringly, trying to decipher the writing while secretly hoping that one day, I too would contribute some amazing idea to display proudly on those walls.
The Center of Embedded Networked Sensing (CENS), my summer vacation resort, is a cutting edge research laboratory in UCLA that focuses on the application of wireless sensor technologies in the practical world. Although CENS may seem like nothing more than the quintessential quaint office building in the diverse city of Los Angeles, 3551 Boelter Hall is the building I have spent my high school career searching for, one filled to the brim with opportunities, resources, technology, and most importantly, thinkers. Immersed in my individual research, I am a member of this intellectual, life-changing community. Instead of learning through textbooks and by rote, I learn through experience, applying all my accumulated knowledge to improve human life with the development of personal sensing mobile applications such as the Personal Environmental Impact Report. Everything, from my daily struggles of teaching myself the mysterious programming language, Python, to discussing Jewish politics with my fellow interns, is incredibly eye-opening and enriching. The wheels inside my head are constantly turning, gathering every piece of information before sorting and storing these puzzle pieces into bins, where they wait for the right time to fit themselves together to solve problems and form complete pictures.
During one of many tedious data collection runs, I began to form another one of my puzzles. Walking miles with the glaring afternoon sun pounding on my back, I clutched my expensive aerosol sensors and cell phones while I pondered the direction of my life's route. Would I walk the crowded, traffic prone streets of my urban sensing campaign route like my fellow peers? Or would I drift away into one of the residential neighborhoods and build my own house from scratch, firmly rooted in my beliefs, ideas, and creations? For a minute, I stepped away from the curb, felt the wind run through my hair, and blindly reached out a hand, expecting nothing. Instead, I grabbed a flying map of Westwood.
"Woah!"
I laughed, grasping the edges of the map gently; after all, it was mine. The notes on the margins showed the long hours I spent researching and reading journal articles, the angry crossed out lines showed the knowledge I gained from my mistakes, and finally, the green route represented my carefully planned future that whipped through the 405 Freeway, crowded Westwood Blvd, and rich Bel-Air neighborhood. I began my journey like everyone else on the freeway, learning how to count and spell simple words, but as I move on, I morph myself into an individual and leader, laying, hammering, and building my house with my bare hands. I aspire to be a thinker, scientist, and inventor-contributing to the world one brick at a time with my thoughts, research, and creations. My future is unclear and uncertain, but for now, I will pick up a marker and begin to add my simple words of wisdom to the distinguished CENS walls.
1) I think this can be catagorized under the significant experience, &c topic.
2) My Thoughts (which can be disregarded at will)
I think that your CENS thing is kind of background to your actual idea, which is more elusive. I guess the one thing that I'm not sure about is how well your essay shows the impact of anything on you (so perhaps that category is not the best). You kind of talk about two mildly related things (your future and CENS), but I guess I would have liked to see more of the impact/effects of the CENS thing on you. Perhaps this is only because I want this essay to be categorized the way I do, but I'm not sure. From your title of the thread, I think that you want this essay to be about the impact that your research experience has on you, and essentially, I think you need to make that connection stronger.
I like your prose though. Fun to read.
