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Common App Essay - The Last Supper


happylandfill 1 / -  
Dec 18, 2011   #1
"What would your last meal on Earth be?"
"I can only choose one dish?"
"Yep."
I knew that future me would kick herself for settling for French Fries as her last meal, just because that was the first thing that popped into her head. The little office workers in my left-brain start to list and categorize. They attach an 'opportunity cost', a concept my brain has only recently picked up in economy class, to every possible outcome of my decision. Eventually, the artists and anarchists of my right brain decide to make an appearance. Together everyone works furiously to come up with an answer. My spider senses detect an awkward silence developing as the interviewer awaits my answer. I try to buy time.

"Hmm...good question. It really depends. I don't know what the circumstances of my last meal on Earth will be. What if I'm dying of a disease that's killed my taste buds so it wouldn't really matter..."

DING! The little people in my brain stumble upon the answer. I used to think that one either thinks like a scientist or an artist, but I've learnt now that this is not the case. In fact, the skills I've learnt when changing variables in science experiments I've been able to apply when experimenting with different mediums in art. Growing up in Bali, I've been exposed and influenced by many, seemingly contradicting walks of life: Right Brain and Left Brain, Modern and Traditional, Science and Spiritual, East and West. I've decided that instead of wasting energy trying to decide which side I'm more compatible with, I'll find ways to balance these elements in order for them to work together. I think that's much more satisfying.

"I got it!" Barely able to contain my excitement. "My last meal will be a stick of Willy Wonka's chewing gum, the one with a three course meal followed by dessert. My first course will be an assortment of sushi rolls. Followed by a lamb curry with Indian biryani rice. Third, an Indonesian dish: slow simmered beef in coconut milk with yellow rice. To top it all off, a red velvet cupcake complete with cream cheese frosting. Then, I'll be more than happy to float out of my body and explore the universe."

As usual, several moments later, my brain stumbles upon opportunity costs. My mind runs around in circles. What was wrong with French Fries? Maybe I should've had Thai instead of Indonesian. Maybe I needed a European dish to add some variety. What if a cupcake isn't a fancy enough dessert for my last meal on Earth? What if, what if, what if? As the people in my head begin to cause a headache of panic and confusion, I realize I'm being asked another question and have no clue what I'm being asked.

Its funny, opportunity cost, something that was explained in three lines in an Economics text book, is engraved in my brain and yet I constantly have to remind myself to let go of things and move on, even though it's something I do on a regular basis. Sometimes I think my mind is an octopus, that attaches it self to so many things that eventually its tentacles get all tangled and twisted. Then it squirts ink and is left dazed and confused in inky darkness. So, lesson constantly learned and forgotten: Don't over think, it only wastes brain power and drives you mad. Cupcakes not appropriate for my last meal on Earth? Preposterous.

Hola EssayForumers. This is one of the essays i wrote for the main Common App essay and I don't know if I'm being too abstract. Some have said that it reflects my quirkiness while others have said that admission officers reading this at 11 p.m. will get too confused and it doesn't reflect anything about me. Please tell me what you think and don't sugar coat.

Thanks!
ZhoeK 5 / 173  
Dec 18, 2011   #2
Greetings and salutations Tya.

I am not a professional editor, but I will voice my opinions about your essay nonetheless and you can decide whether to comply of not.

Overall:
I believe that it is partially confusing, for you begin with french fries as your choice, but then you mention the three course meal and at the end you insert cupcakes, so I am a tad bit confused at to which meal did you chose, or if there was even a choice. In regards to whether your essay reveals anything about you, I think it reveals plenty about how your inner mind works and how you make decisions, so I think you have mastered that aspect well. Overall I like your concept but I think you should make your final decision of your last supper a little less confusing. I like the end with preposterous, it is pretty effective and if your choice is french fries or something equally unexpected, preposterous would be a suitable justification.

Also, I do not think you should use contractions in the body of the essay, you can leave that to the dialogue, it detracts.

Barely able to contain my excitement

This is sort of awkward and abrupt after the "I got it!". Could perhaps be "I proclaimed aloud, barely able to contain my excitement"

but I've learnt now that this is not the case

but I have learnt this is not always the case.

So, lesson constantly learned and forgotten:

A lesson I have learnt and constantly forgotten:

I hope I have helped you in someway, good day.
kexu2012 5 / 8  
Dec 18, 2011   #3
I'm not a professional editor also. And my writing skills is to some aspects much weaker than yours. But i would really want to say my feelings after reading you draft!

It's really an interesting essay! And I really like it!
I don't know if I'm correct in understanding it but, do you intent to show your belief that you are a girl who "follows your heart", not someone who "overcare" the pros and cons? Or are you trying to tell us you are sort of people who "find ways to balance these elements in order for them to work together"?

Anyway, i think either of those can show that you are a person of character!
It's just slightly confusing after you speaked out your answer.

"I got it!" Barely able to contain my excitement. "My last meal will be a stick of Willy Wonka's chewing gum, the one with a three course meal followed by dessert.

you may try a clearer confession of your choice, the emotional"Frech Fries" or the rational way of this long answer? Or you can probably set your final answer after all the struggle in mind, "I would like French Fries after all!"

Just some personal understandings and suggestions! Wish both of us good luck!


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