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Common App Essay for Middlebury, American, Smith, Mount Holyoke, Dickinson!!

JVan09 2 / 2  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
I really want another opinion on my paper. I plan to use it for the common app and I really wanted to use it for my UNC-Chapel Hill long essay but its only 400 words and it needs to be 500. Any ideas??

Common app topic of my choice. It's basically about something I'm not good at

がんばってください! (Do Your Best)

Most teenagers see driving as a right of passage --- something to look forward to, but not me. Driving has always been and still is a struggle for me. The first time I drove a car was when I was fifteen years old. I can clearly remember the look of apprehension on the driving instructor's face when I told him I had never been behind the wheel of a car before. As for me, I had no idea how I was supposed to maneuver a two ton metal giant through busy streets and roadways.

This fear of driving caused me to think about whether or not I really needed to learn how to drive. I mean, what's the big deal if I can't drive an automobile? As I reflect on my friends and family who drive, I ask -- how has driving changed their lives?

I remember my mother telling me stories about my grandmother's challenges with learning how to drive. You see, my grandmother Yukie, was a Japanese war bride who married my grandfather Leon, when his army platoon was stationed in Japan following World War II. They married and migrated to the United States in 1955. My grandmother did not learn to drive until almost twenty years later. She struggled with learning to read and comprehend a new language and driving rules. My mom told me that my grandmother not only translated driving rules into Japanese, but also read the driving rules books every day. She took the written test six times before she finally passed; she passed the driving test on the second try. My grandmother was determined to do whatever it took to pass the tests. For her, it meant independence; she would not have to rely on anyone for transportation.

I've seen my friends get their licenses and how their lives have changed too. They are more independent now. Sometimes I get to be independent with them when they give me rides. Now I understand why teenagers want to drive so much. Being able to drive can be a liberating experience.

When I feel like giving up, I think about my grandmother's determination, my friends' new found freedom, and the prospect of not taking the bus with noisy classmates. I've realized that driving is a privilege not a right, and if I want my license I'm going to have to work for it.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Dec 29, 2009   #2
Maybe you could add something at the beginning, some reason you have felt afraid to drive. Do you know how that fear came about?

Sometimes I get to be independent with them when they give me rides.Sad! I remember those days!

Driving has always been, and still is, a struggle for me.

I've seen my friends get their licenses and also how their lives have changed because of it .

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