Hello, this is a personal essay I've been working on for a couple of the schools I'm applying to. I've never really written personal statements before, so I can't seem to find the line between too dramatic/cliche and not personal enough. I haven't reached the word limit yet so I'm open to add onto this and develop certain ideas if that is the case. Any feedback is appreciated, thank you!
every artist is a mirror-crafter
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
(250-650 words)
Growing up, I crafted mirrors.
Wood and canvas looking glasses, small hand mirrors of sketchbook-bound paper: my mirrors always strayed from the typical composition of glass and metal, making it difficult to even perceive them as mirrors in the first place. For years, I simply recognized them to be what they were to the common eye: art.
The key conflict of my childhood that shaped my personality was my struggle with social integration. After moving back to America from China, I molded myself into a blank slate to overcome cultural differences. My single defining interest, drawing, remained undeterred despite my self-consciousness, but even that expressed dissatisfaction. Ripped and crumpled paper that litter sketchbooks from uncontrolled erasure strokes portray frustrations. Acrylic landscapes stack together inside drawers in shame of unoriginality. Sticky notes of diverse characters and individuality bury within textbook pages in fear of judgement. Each rendered painting and lunchtime doodle was a reflection of my will to express myself, but my lack of confidence rendered my expression as silent.
The summer going into high school, I stumbled upon a realm of mirrors: an online art forum. Despite my reluctance with social interaction, I was compelled to submit a piece of my work. The feedback I received was unexpected; along with welcomes and constructive criticism, I was contacted by many to simply connect interests. I was amazed by the contact within such a diverse community simply through sharing artwork and I decided to further explore this form of sharing.
With the constant flow of support from different artists, I developed a more confident perspective on my abilities and began seeking ways to support others as well. By creating art-related contests and activities, I was granted a leader role in the community in which I've thrived and increased the population to over eleven thousand young artists. I began participating in volunteer work more often, encouraging children to express their own creativity through collaborative art sessions. I was reached out to by my local library to design and illustrate for their website and events, granting valuable experience with an employer. I contributed to multiple world building projects with other artists, creating stories and researching design.
Shuffling through archives of old art years later with new perspectives on both myself and the world, I finally recognize my reflection. Rather than noting the inexperience showcased with every rough line and scratchy color, I am exposed to a record of self-discovery and improvement. What was once a way to pass time molded into a medium in which I can drive for a future career and make connections with those I meet.
My mirrors, crafted with paper and canvas rather than glass and metal, make it difficult to visualize appearances, but they reveal more than the first glance or surface image. They display character. And even after recognizing my self-discovery, I remain determined to expand my perception. I strive to continuously create and reflect back, to grow off myself -- and knowing that every artist is a mirror-crafter -- to inspire others to reflect off my work just as much as I have reflected off theirs.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 This is not really related to an event, accomplishment, or realization. Although it sparked a period of growth on your part, I believe that this is better suited as a personal statement under a topic of your choice. You see, an accomplishment or event, needs to be portrayed as something that isn't a hobby, but highlights something that you were eventually recognized for by others. The realization should be directed towards an understanding of others based on an interaction with them. What you have shown here, are a series of activities that led to you thinking about your past, how it helped shaped your present, and how you see your future. It doesn't really fall under the described topics. However, it is too interesting for you to not use in your application. That is why I am suggesting that you use it as an open topic presentation instead. That way you can use this actual essay, or revise it to become even better. It is a good draft. It just need to be used and developed in the proper context. This has the potential to become one impressive written interview. Develop your own prompt for the open topic and use it as the title for the essay. The title has to clue in the reviewer about something you hope to present in the essay. So, while every artist is a mirror crafter, that doesn't tell me anything I need to know about you.
