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COMMON APP, is this necessary? Details of circumstances or qualifications...


PabloEscobar 1 / -  
Dec 25, 2019   #1

details of circumstances or qualifications not reflected in the application



Hey, my registration deadline is looming and I'm getting real anxious. At this point. I'm not even sure what I'm writing is even necessary! please help!!

-Do you wish to provide details of circumstances or qualifications not reflected in the application?

As an optimist that tries to find the greener side of the grass and is constantly looking for solutions and is very passionate about innovation and all that can lead to development and progress, I would like to further add on to my activities and extra curriculars I've done.

Because I'm an extrovert, I allowed myself to participate in every single activity and take part in every club I could. However, that doesn't reflect my passions that I wish to convey.

I'm a reader and I have read over 300 books in my high school years only, although I take a great pride in that, at some point I had found it rather meaningless if I cannot highlight and emphasize the importance of reading to my community. Therefore, I took the first step in bringing to life the very first Book Club to both my previous school and my current school. I took this project very seriously and worked my hardest to make it efficient and fun. As a club of 80+ members, we were able to read 5 books per academic year. During our club meetings, we discussed all literary aspects of each book. Together we had open discussions about the characters and the plots, not only increasing the students' skills, but also boosting their confidence and allowing them to share their ideas. Moreover, our club contributed back to the community by volunteering at bookstores and local libraries where we organized shelves and gave life to libraries. My proudest achievements in this club were hosting our very own Book Fair that went very smoothly and fifty percent of our revenue was donated to a local charity as well as inviting both local and international authors to welcome us and host a book talk.

In middle school, I took the initiative and worked with my school counselor to start a program with the name "Sustainable Ambassadors". We were a team of high school and middle school students that together worked on educating the elementary students on the importance of being sustainable residents and take our environment in consideration before taking any action in our daily lives. That program was the tiny seed before the big plant. As soon as I entered high school and became part of the student council, I gave more room to this program to grow into a very successful recycling program. The recycling program went like this: 7 minutes before the last bell, my teammates and I (a team of no more than 20 students) would leave class with permission to collect recyclable trash from all around the school campus. All members were equipped with recyclable plastic bags and gloves to help them collect the trash. Each two participants would enter 5-7 classes to collect paper and plastic from their designated cans that we had arranged in each class prior. After 7 minutes, all teammates gather and meet at the school's main entrance to throw in what they collected in the big trash bins. Lastly, a recycling organization that we had teamed up with, would come and collect all trash on Saturdays to recycle them. Every day, the entire school campus was recycled within 7 minutes.

To add on, I'm a rather good hostess. Aside from hosting school events, I have hosted multiple inter-school competitions, exhibitions and shows. And with a great deal of failures and a lot practices, I was able to host my high school's 2019 graduation in the Dubai Opera. An achievement I am so proud of because I had worked very hard to attain that position. I had tough competition going into it but I didn't let doubt or fear stop me from reaching my goal.

Learn2Do89 1 / 2 1  
Jan 8, 2020   #2
Hi @PabloEscobar,
Reading over your essay, while I think your information is very comphrehensive and portrays you in a very positive light, but I felt that the tone could use some work. Throughout the entire essay, I felt as though I was reading a "self-indulgent brag session", which turned me off as a reader because it makes me think of you as vain. I think if you restructured the essay into a more of a "humble brag" where you talk about your accomplishments while having certain reservations (ie. disclosing that you're still a high school student, and that your work IS only limited to your community) will help portray you as a dedicated and active student that isn't egotistical and self-serving. If done correctly, it can be a very insightful and entertaining read.

Aside from the essay itself, I advise your "DETAILS OF CIRCUMSTANCES OR QUALIFICATIONS NOT REFLECTED IN THE APPLICATION" essay to be something that actually can't be reflected in the rest of the application. Alot of what you say is about your extracurricular activites and leadership roles, which all fine things to elaborate on, but should really be limited to your activities section if possible. By the time colleges reach this essay, they would probably have a good idea that you're an active and high-achieving student, with this essay possibly being a "victory lap" of excess. Try to find a topic that doesn't focus on your extracurriculars or academic. Did you ever have an epiphany that helped you better understand the world around you? What do you want to accomplish in the future? Are there questions that you want to solve? Focusing on topics that go deeper into your mindset or ambitions will help round out your character during admissions.

Thanks for sharing your essay, and I hope the best for your admissions,
-Learn2Do89
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,017 2713  
Jan 14, 2020   #3
This part of the application essay is optional because it has to do with some factors that may exist in your transcript of records / grade which may tend to have an influence on your qualifications as a student. For example, if you are applying to premed but have horrible science and math grades, then you can use this essay to explain why your grades are such and how you have began to overcome the obstacle. Or, maybe you participated in some extra curricular activity that could possibly help you gain a scholarship in athletics or something but you had no place to mention it in the previous essays you wrote. You can highlight that positive ability here. The essay is not meant to be an outline of your previous activities and accomplishments throughout your life. It is meant to help the reviewer focus on something about you that must be seriously considered in the admissions process.


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