I had just been awarded a yearly musical theatre scholarship to the American Heritage School of Boca/Delray. As performing was, and still is, my passion, and as a musical theatre enthusiast, I could not be happier to be in a place that would build my potential in acting, singing, and dancing to beyond a high school level. However, as overjoyed as I was to enter a new, artistically stimulating environment, I was morose to leave my previous school, Cardinal Newman, where I fulfilled my performing outlet through a favorite sport of mine: Cheerleading.
Being the active and involved teenager that I was, I convinced myself to participate in both, be a cheerleader and a theatre buff! After all, my whole life was the repetitive process of: go to school, show choir, play practice, and then ballet until the late hours of night and get home at nine o'clock to start homework...and repeat! I knew I could make it work. To me, I was getting the best of both worlds... being an athlete, and a performer! Though to those at American Heritage, a cheerleader couldn't be a theatre geek, and an educated performer couldn't be a bland cheerleader. Two weeks into the smooth (but somewhat of an identity crisis) cheer season I was accepted in to the first production of the season, Ain't Misbehavin. As I was bombarded with this new addition to my days, I felt the wrath of both the cheer squad, and the theatre troupe. My schedules were interfering and I would run to rehearsals late drenched in sweat from cheer practice, which I would get in trouble for leaving early. I felt as though I was being pulled in a million directions... I was a new student at a new school where I knew no one, and all I was trying to do was take advantage of all it had to offer! I was heartbroken, but realistically I had no choice but to quit the squad and continue on in my theatre aspirations. After all, that's what I came to this school for, right?
So, the cheerleaders thought I was dissimilar because I sang musical theatre tunes opposed to pop music, and the thespians viewed me as berserk because to them, cheerleading was not a sport, but just annoying. They could assume what they wanted to about me, but no way was I to be defined by any stereotype. All I really was doing in this situation was proving to everyone that I will do whatever it takes if it means getting in front of an audience, performing, and making them smile, which is the sole purpose of both cheerleading and theatre! In the end, I could not please everyone but I did teach myself two lessons without even really trying: To stay true to my passions because they make me the unique, diverse individual that I will always be, and that one cannot be in two places at once, as hard as they may try.
Hmm... I would begin by developing a stronger thesis... You could begin your essay by describing your diversity of interests/how you have many passions and they make you who you are.
Also, there are some areas that could areas that could be omitted, since they are a little repetitive/wordy.
For example in the beginning, I would say "I could not be happier to transition to American Heritage but I knew I would miss my old school."
Then, you could omit "Being the active and involved teenage that I was..."
Since this essay is for the Common App, it appears that your topic is diversity...So specify what exactly it is that you feel you would bring to the college you are applying for...
Talk about how your hard work, dedication and experiences have changed you and helped you grow as a person...
Hope this helps!!! :)
