Prompt: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
The lack of concern regarding political and international headlines among students is completely staggering. The ratio of those who prefer to pick up a newspaper or read the latest headline on bbc.co.uk to those who would rather pick up an issue of "People" is overwhelmingly in favor of the latter. In the past decades, the new comings of celebrities have gained a unanimously superior standing over foreign developments and domestic skirmishes. The root problem is how the media and the public's relationship have developed through the decades. The media is forced to collect meaningless articles of information surrounding our nation's film stars and rock legends because no other news makes as much profit. Even today, in the face of one of the worst economic circumstances known in human history, the media has not retracted its ever-watchful eye from the A-list world.
The people of America must have their eyes pried open with the cold, steel pliers of reality. The best place to start is in schools. Students have to open their eyes and ears to political and economic news, not only limited to the United States, but on an international level. When this happens, people will be geared towards independent thinking and unconsciously learn how to better analyze situations, ultimately resulting in an intellectually superior generation. My goal in life is to excel and shatter the human species' limitations, but it is impossible for a single person to undertake such a task. Something must be reformed to change the priorities of the people, and the sooner this occurs, the better.
I don't know how i should mention the bbc website, should i leave the url there or should i say something like "bbc site"
also please check for grammar and spelling mistakes. If there are any problems with the flow of the essay please point them out and finally, if there's any unnecessary words, please tell me I have to trim this down by 11 words.
Does anyone know if its ok for the essay to go over 250 words? because currecntly i have 260 ><
Thank You!
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( ) added/moved around
The lack of concern regarding political and international headlines among students is completely staggering. The ratio (of those who would rather pick up an issue of "People" instead of a newspaper is overwhelming). In the past (few?) decades, the new comings of celebrities have gained a(n) unanimously superior standing over foreign developments and domestic skirmishes. The root problem is how the media and the public's relationship ha(s) developed through the decades. The media is forced to collect meaningless __ information surrounding our nation's film stars and rock legends because no other news makes as much profit. Even today, in the face of one of the worst economic circumstances known in human history, the media has not retracted its ever-watchful eye from the A-list world.
The people of America must have their eyes pried open with the cold, steel pliers of reality. The best place to start is in schools. Students have to open their eyes and ears to political and economic news, not only limited to the United States, but on an international level. When this happens, people will be geared towards independent thinking and (will) learn how to __ analyze situations (better), (which will) ultimately result in an intellectually superior generation. My goal in life is to excel and shatter the human species' limitations, but it is impossible for a single person to undertake such a task. Something must be reformed to change the priorities of the people, and the sooner this occurs, the better.
I think this is great. I think I shortened it to the right length?
Hmm i think it's good but it should be more personal as in relate the headline to your own experience yeah? Not just commenting on a phenomenon but how the phenomenon impacted You.
This sentence could be eliminated, or you could fix it as follows: In the past decades, the new comings of celebrities have gained a unanimously superior standing over the important developments and events,foreign and domestic.
Here' another suggestion: The media is forced, by popular demand, to collect meaningless articles of information surrounding our nation's film stars and rock legends because no other news makes as much profit.
It is probably okay to go a few words over the limit, but it depends on the priorities of the reader...
This is an important topic, and you write very eloquently.
