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COMMON APP - previous commendable experiences, activities

Anosha29 2 / 3  
May 20, 2014   #1
Hey, I have another essay to write. I'll be glad for the reviews :)

I have to write on previous commendable experiences, any extra curricular activities you hope to pursue after you have entered the university and your plan after graduation from APU

In my high school years I have participated in science fairs. In my first science fair I did a project on benefits of remedies from natural resources (it was an individual project), example: honey, lemon, lavender oil, green tea etc. I have presented few natural remedies to demonstrate how those natural remedies work. For instance instead of using washing powder which contains harsh chemicals, they could be using mixture of coconut oil based soaps, lemon essential oil and vinegar to wash their cloths. I also notified my guest and my judge about the benefit of these natural remedies for our health. For example green tea increases metabolism, the polyphenol found in green tea works to intensify levels of fat oxidation and the rate at which one's body turns food into calories. I even gave out flyers to the quests and judges of different natural remedies and its usefulness. Even though I wasn't able to win any prizes that year, I have received overwhelming reviews from my teachers.

In my second science fair, my group and I did a project on chemical reaction of iron nail with copper sulphate reaction and with water. We had two nails and tubes, one filled with water and another with cooper sulphate. We robed the nails and dropped them in two tubes. After awhile a brown coating was formed on the surface of the iron nail and the color of copper sulphate solution changed blue to green. This reaction shows that iron is more reactive that cooper as it displace copper from its solution.

In my last year, my classmate and I did a presentation on natural disaster, about tsunamis, earthquakes, volcano explosions and devastating flood prepared. And how to prepare themselves and all the safety regulations if any of them ever have faces with those circumstances. Also I have participated in school competition for Mathematics and English. These events boost my confidence, as now I have no difficulty on cooperating with anyone I work with and able to present myself to the audience without any sort of nervousness.

I have attended several after school clubs such as sports club, chess club and played sports such as volleyball, football and basketball in and out of school. I do believe physical fitness is essential.

Back in 2008, I have volunteered for Lions Clubs International (LCI) which is a secular service organization. All the volunteers were taken to Cox's Bazaar to distribute warm clothes and food to the poor for the winter. We also did a presentation that how LCI organization dedicated to leadership development through community service. And I want to do more volunteer work in the future through Habitat APU.

Within my graduation I have desire to get a chance to work in a multinational company in Japan or where I get an opportunity as a chartered accountant or a financial analyst. Along with doing a job, I intend to do charity works to help developing countries such as mine Bangladesh and other African countries.
candy07 9 / 33 6  
May 23, 2014   #2
And how to prepare them

I do not feel the sentence here should start with and
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
May 23, 2014   #3
I think you are spending too much time on the commendable experiences part, when the focus should be what you will do in and after college. Moreover, there should be some kind of link between the past and future. Are you going to do research in college? Sports? What specifically? If this is a supplement essay, you need to find out what clubs, opportunities, etc. are at the college and name them in your essay.

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