Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 4

Common App supplement (Sentence structure and grammar problems)


r991183878 6 / 19  
Jan 1, 2009   #1
This is for my NYU supplement and I need a little help with sentence structure/grammar because some parts sound really bad. Plus, I would like to know if it actually answers the question.?

You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose? Why? (500 character max

"As Santana strums his guitar to the hip-hop beat infused with Spanish sounds, I step up to the microphone and start to sing a song known as "Maria Maria" sung The Product G&B. The poetic drama tells a tale of a woman named Maria who grew up in Harlem, but falls in love with a man in East L.A. I chose this song because it not only discusses the current east & west coast rivalry conflict, but also tells a romantic version of Westside Story. This lyrical masterpiece has passion, meaning, and story."

It is 500 words exactly. I bolded the parts I'm kind of worried about. Thanks in advance!
Linnus 6 / 89  
Jan 1, 2009   #2
What is "Spanish sounds"? Do you mean spanish words or..?

"Maria Maria" sung The Product G&B"
Do you mean by The Product G&B?

"east & west coast rivalry conflict"
You should probably use "and". Interesting, I didn't know there is a "east and west coast rivalry"

"also tells a romantic version of Westside Story"

You mean West Side Story (the musical?)

Good luck!
OP r991183878 6 / 19  
Jan 1, 2009   #3
Thank you!

East and West coast gang rivalry. I didn't include gang because it wouldn't fit lol

does that last sentence make sense: "...and story."
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 3, 2009   #4
"As Santana strums his guitar to the hip-hop beat, infusing it with Spanish sounds, I step up to the microphone and start to sing "Maria Maria" by The Product G&B. The poetic drama tells a tale of a woman named Maria who grew up in Harlem, but falls in love with a man in East L.A. I choose this song because it discusses the current east and west coast rivalry conflict while also telling a romantic version of West Side Story. This lyrical masterpiece has passion, meaning, and story."

Why did you put the whole thing in " " marks? I don't think that is necessary. Good luck!!!!!!! :)


Home / Undergraduate / Common App supplement (Sentence structure and grammar problems)