Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0] - SERVICES

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3

Essay for Common App: Technology-What I think

No one 1 / 1  
Jan 7, 2019   #1

'free choice' essay - prompt 7

Please any one read my essay it's urgent...Do you think is it worthy of submitting at Common App or it lacks any reflection of personality or something? If it does, plz tell me on how to modify it. I will be really appreciate any critical comments.

Today's world has seen technology like no other known to man. So much to the point we use it at daily basis. Technology is beneficial in many ways and I know personally how influential and convenient current technology is. Without it, I would barely even manage to get through my day.

First of all let's talk about, what is technology? Often people confuse technology and science which in reality are two incredibly diverse phenomena. Technology refers to the application of tools, machines, materials, techniques and sources of power to make work easier and more productive. Technology deals with making things happen. While science is concerned with understanding how and why things happen. I like to, jokingly so, compare them as the male brain and the female brain respectively. I strongly believe that technology and development are related at heart. I trust that without the latter the former will eventually expire. Imagine if we stopped developing our technology 2 or 3 decades ago. What do you see? But, it is crucial to understand and very importantly accept that technological advancement has deeply affected human life both positively and negatively. Not only that life has become effortless and comfortable, there are also indications of numerous threats to life and the social order in the future due to use or I would rather say misuse of current technology.

Many arguments arise on whether technology is an ally or foe for human kind. I believe it is too much of a good thing, which in any case will result in harm. No doubt life is simpler with these magnificent devices, but we are becoming too lethargic to even pick up a book and discover things on our own. We are divorcing ourselves from normal human behavior. Are we headed for a world where everything is technology driven and devoid of what makes us human? I am afraid the answer will soon become a solid yes if we keep misusing and more importantly overusing the technology to the point where we are programmed to use technology at a daily basis. On the other hand technology has brought about effectiveness and quality in every sector be it agriculture, industry, profession, health, education, art, political processes, recreation, religious activities and daily life activities all are under the influence of technology. There is possibly no field of human life which has not been improved by technology. It would be tremendously foolish to disregard the power and perks of technology in this fast progressing and extremely competitive world. It has become a necessity. Unfortunately it is a poison we must take in order to survive.

The positive as well as negative roles of technology have put human mind into to a position of unrest and uncertainty. There is I believe a fine line between these to extremes a balance. We cannot abandon technology now but we can ensure not to let it control us. We have to accept the realities of solely depending on technology and completely abandoning it for in both cases damage is inevitable.

This is a response to the essay prompt 7 which is a free choice.

rsrag 1 / 2 1  
Jan 8, 2019   #2
Ok a few things, I think it is a good starting point but needs to be developed a bit. You chose this topic because it reflects who you are, why are you so interested in technology? Why is it more interesting to you than literature or biology? A necessary addition to this essay is some kind of anecdote that ties in your reason for this essay.

Specifically: Today's world has seen technology [...] use it at daily basis. Combine these

Technology is beneficial in ... Without it, I ... Expand this! Here is your chance to show your writing style and elevated language. Don't use "many" it is too vague.

First of all let's talk about, what is technology? I personally don't think you need this because it makes the essay sounds more like a school assignment than a personal reflection.

Overall, try to make it more personal. I would only use a portion of this and use the other to expand on its importance and potentially what you have done in this area that has fostered your interest. Hopefully this is not coming too late as I know many deadlines have already past.
Holt - / 7,532 2001  
Jan 8, 2019   #3
Aleena, this sounds like an IELTS Task 2 essay prompt response rather than an open topic essay. The open topic essay was created to help the student introduce an aspect of your personality, family background, extenuating circumstances, or any aspect of personal insight that can help the reviewer better assess and consider your ability to be a student at the university. It is supposed to help you prove that you are a "fit", for want of a better word, with the university in terms of your academic goals, student community interaction, personal development interests, and other aspects that can help you prepare for a solid adult and professional life.

The essay that you wrote, though insightful, doesn't really address the purpose of the open topic prompt. While this essay works, it only works as an opinion essay for a given prompt statement. It does not sound and does not reflect as an open topic prompt based on the expected information for the open topic essay. It introduces an insight that you have regarding technology, but it doesn't add any personal information that can help with the application assessment process.

I can only guess that you are some sort of computer or technology major, which is why you decided to write this opinion paper. However, this is not an open topic essay subject. With some adjustments to the content presentation, the more appropriate prompt for this sort of opinion paper writing is:

Describe a time when you challenged a belief or an idea...

If you compare your line of reasoning in this current essay against the required discussion of that prompt, you will find that what you wrote "fits" better with this prompt.

Home / Undergraduate / Essay for Common App: Technology-What I think