What is the point of College? Many people describe it as the intermediate step between high school and a job. I agree on some level, but for that group that classifies it as this, it is crucial to then ask: what is the point of job? People from that category, will probably give a uniform answer: to make money. I realize this may be redundant, but it is still crucial to ask once more: what's the point of money? At this point, those people would probably hesitate at answering the question. In my opinion, this is a huge problem with society: we stop at the concept of money and never go on to think further.
^Not everyone is inspired by money. I understand that you said 'many people' and not everyone, but then again, how large is your sample size and how diverse was it? Perhaps, your sample is not accurate enough?...
Most people think that money is a measure of happiness, but after countless experiences throughout high school and much thought on the idea, money is not the measure of happiness.
^Actually it can be, depending on the type of person you are. Not all people feel satisfied at meeting the bare minimum; having just enough food, having just enough shelter etc. Some people may want more, and to meet these wants, they need money. If however, you abide by the philosophy of simplicity, then money has no appeal. It really does depend on the personality and the level of wants.
*Your essay is ok. It is nothing fantastic. You have one or two good points, but many irrelevant ones. Id even go as far as to say that your research on such a topic is limited, and that your views are unqualified. That is just me however.