Common App Writing - local baseball field crew membership

Prompt: In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

As a member of the [local baseball field crew] throughout my high school career, I learned how to work with other people efficiently and how to contribute to society honestly. While working on the baseball fields, I did not have a boss of any sort to make sure I was doing my job correctly; however, I always made an effort to do every part of my work the way it was supposed to be done and to submit my hours honestly. During my first season working as a freshmen, I had very little experience. After my sophomore year, my superiors graduated from high school and I took the initiative as lead crew worker. I recruited more members and did what was best for the fields. Making the fields the finest they could be became an incentive besides the regular wage, and working everyday after school was enjoyable for me.

Thanks for the help, is this bland... or making myself look too good?

I think this is a very honest and honorable essay. You describe what you have done and how you did it responsibly; you present a very wholesome image and a very flattering essay. Nice work.