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Common App - Short Essay (Yoga)


shelby_l 2 / 4  
Sep 15, 2009   #1
I don't really like my opening, and I'm not really sure if this is the kind of essay they're looking for. Let me know what you think, please. =]

Although I participate in an abundance of stimulating extra-curricular activities, there is none that I enjoy more than my weekly yoga class. I first began yoga in 4th grade, and immediately fell in love with it. My fondness for the practice stems not only from my natural skill in it, but also the numerous things it has given me.

Through yoga, I am able to release my everyday stress in a healthy manner, which has strengthened my body, my mind, and my overall well-being. With each downward dog, each "namaste", each meditation, I develop a closer connection with myself. Yoga class is the one time each week when I can truly separate myself from the world around me and concentrate on my needs.
Moonshadow0302 - / 68  
Sep 16, 2009   #2
Although I participate in an abundance of stimulating extra-curricular activities

The word "Abundance" doesn't work. Perhaps - "a number of" would sound better - as in - ALthough I participate in a number of ...

Through yoga, I am able to release my everyday stress in a healthy manner, which has strengthened my body, my mind, and my overall well-being. With each downward dog, each "namaste", each meditation, I develop a closer connection with myself.

Would read better if - which has strengthened my body and mind and improved my overall well being.
Also what is a "dog" in Yoga?

The rest seems fine. Is this the short answer for common application - activity? You could start directly by describing what Yoga does for you and end with the first sentence.

As in - Yoga is the one activity which helps me seperate myself from the world and its material concerns and concentrate on my inner spiritual and mental needs.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 16, 2009   #3
"Abundance" is OK; it's just wrongly placed in the sentence. Another word would be better though. I don't like the wordy "a/an ... of" construction. Why not simply say "numerous" and be done with it?
OP shelby_l 2 / 4  
Sep 16, 2009   #4
Downward dog is a position. Should I eliminate that so I don't confuse people?
kenziii 7 / 35  
Sep 16, 2009   #5
Although I participate in an abundance of stimulating extra-curricular activities

Other aspects of your application will show this. Don't use up your valuable space reiterating!

Not bad overall, it could use some spicier words.
I don't know much about yoga but I know about the downward dog position.
So, that one is really up to your preference.
Liebe 1 / 542 2  
Sep 17, 2009   #6
I actually do not like the first sentence, at all.
I think that if it is removed, then the essay gets straight to the point and flows better.
sk2009 1 / 1  
Sep 17, 2009   #7
try talking about what you would like to do with yoga in the future
Moonshadow0302 - / 68  
Sep 18, 2009   #8
I guess those who know something about Yoga would know about the dog, but then it's not necessary that all those reading the essay would know about it. So perhaps you should change it.
HassieAhumada - / 1  
Mar 13, 2013   #9
Yoga Workshop; BE PATIENT, EVALUATE YOUR RESULTS

As you get better at a particular aspect while running your workshop, you'll be able to do it faster, but in the beginning, it takes time. Be patient, evaluate your results and make changes as needed. Keep one thing in mind, if your yoga workshop doesn't make money, it won't be around to help anyone in the future. Keep it profitable.


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