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Common Application Short Answer: Basketball


BigBoob15 4 / 17  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
Please Comment!!!!!!!

I shoot the ball from the three point line; it drops in with a loud SWISSH the surrounding boys look in awe as the park lights illuminate the particles of dust being expelled from the hoop. "That's game", I say with smug satisfaction. "I win ten-zip." The boys who had all played me leave in disappoint insisting on a future rematch. I never understood why they were so upset they were beaten by a girl. As the seven o' clock darkness began to infest the sky, the park became uninhabited. The once populated park was now empty leaving me with the vestiges: 24 oz. Cotton Candy C&C bottles, empty Kisko freeze pop packets, and the stench of stale chips. This was always the best time for me to practice. At night alone free of other eager hands that want to shoot the ball. Practice for me can be summed up in a single regimen; layups, jump shots, and dribbling. But I don't practice as if I am alone; I practice with an imaginary player. Staring down the night I contemplate my future moves while questioning myself. How will I get this ball into the hoop? The ball travels through my legs and around my back tricking my opponent, forcing him to go the other way. Now I am open but I don't get the easy way out, my opponent has already recovered from his temporary tumble. With a spin and a couple of crossover tricks I am open once again taking this opportunity I gracefully lay the ball into the hoop. ALL NET, portraying the most sophisticated example of ghetto ballet. I run back to the foul line for a check up1 while yelling out, "One -Zip!"

1 The act of which the player who shot the ball will bounce pass the ball to his opponent and the opponent bounce passes the ball back. This is a way of clearing the ball.
jaybee 5 / 5  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
Technical things:

" SWISHH." The surrounding

"The boys who had all played me leave in disappoint, insisting on a future rematch."

"the park became uninhabited. The once populated park" this is a bit redundant. Also, stating that the "once populated" park is "now empty" is also a bit redundant... consider revising.

"This was always the best time for me to practice: At night, alone, free of other eager hands that wantwanting (or vying) to shoot the ball."

"around my back, tricking my opponent,"

"the easy way out,; my opponent "

"once again.takingTaking this opportunity, "

Non-technical:

I don't think that the check-up definition is necessary, because it has nothing to do with YOU, which is what the essay should be about, rather than the sport of basketball. Good luck, I hope this helps (:
rahilsavani 4 / 12  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
are you sure this is 1000 characters?
sarahbee 1 / 49  
Dec 29, 2011   #4
I think it's a great essay. The only thing is the, "ALL NET, portraying the most sophisticated example of ghetto ballet." line. i think you might want to choose another euphemism for basketball. ghetto ballet is a little off- putting. But hey, thats just my opinion.

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OP BigBoob15 4 / 17  
Dec 29, 2011   #5
does street ballet seem like a good replacement for ghetto ballet?
ZhoeK 5 / 173  
Dec 29, 2011   #6
Adrienna

You could say urban ballet instead.
marshizzle1 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2011   #7
This essay was riddled with grammatical errors...you should emphasize how basketball has developed YOU more than what you do on evenings at parks.


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