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Common Application essay + short answer: [ a spelling bee and artistry.]


Katsch 4 / 63  
Dec 12, 2009   #1
[ common app essay prompt. ] -- ah, so I really don't know what other people would think about this. I was a little concerned after reading that you should avoid writing about events too far back. I'd really appreciate any opinions!

250 word minimum: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

There was wordlust in my eyes. Driven by a hunger for new and exotic vocabulary, I pestered my family to feed me word after word, and I tore each apart letter by letter with an unbridled voracity. In the weeks before the Delaware state spelling bee, I planned to bulk up on words as much as humanly possible.

Spelling bees are extreme examples of Darwin's "survival of the fittest" theory. In order to make the cut, a contestant must have extraordinary dedication and stamina. Dedication comes first, the sheer devotion to a skill made nearly obsolete by technology; stamina comes later, the ability to continue poring down spelling lists even after exhaustion sways the letters to and fro in one's vision. I thought I possessed both qualities, and even one more - an innate love of words. I have always been fascinated by words, ever since the day I learned to spell "chrysanthemum" in second grade.

Four grades later, I still harbored a special fondness for sesquipedalian words, enraptured by the lull of their many syllables. They were the life of the etymological party, so to say, and I needed their excitement in my hours of studying. I feasted heartily on words like "connoisseur" and "chauffeur," noting the double letters, the bane of my spelling existence. At the age of eleven, I could boast that I knew not only what a klipspringer was, but how to spell it too. On the other hand, I nonchalantly tossed away the scraps, the mundane words of everyday language. "Believe" and "neighbor?" Please. The English language contains more words than any single person could learn in a lifetime; there was simply no time for run of the mill, sixth-grade vocabulary.

Finally, my time had come. The morning of the bee, I felt well rested, catching sunbeams in my open mouth with a drowsy yawn. Fifteen minutes before the start of the bee, my head was still tilted regally in self-assurance as I filed onto the stage with the others and took my seat. Only a few minutes later, however, I was trembling, and it seemed inexplicable to me. My mother, father, and little sister sat in the dim auditorium, confident they had prepared me well. I had devoured scores upon scores of luscious words, so why did my stomach feel so queasy?

I walked into the lights.

"Your word is 'permanent,'" said the announcer.

"Permanent." I traced the letters out on the podium. I hadn't studied this, but it was an easy enough word, a mere appetizer for what would come.

"P-e-r-m-a-n... a-n-t. Permanent."

"Is that a-n-t?" clarified the announcer. I nodded.

My sister buried her head in the nook of my mom's arm. Did the lights on the stage suddenly seem brighter, harsher? I barely heard the announcer speak, but I sensed the sympathy in his words. In a daze, I watched as the rest of the participants took their turn, subsequently taking their seats permanently just as I had-all but the winner. The embarrassment and shock of my mistake didn't hit hard until later. My family offered words of consolation, but rings of red still encircled my sister's eyes. I had messed up on the most basic word, one I had pretentiously overlooked. It's almost ironic that this single word has had such a lasting impact on me. Challenging myself with the hardest of subjects or the longest of words has its place, but it means nothing without a grasp of the fundamentals. An unbalanced diet of knowledge only leads to future stomach aches. I would know; it's written on my brain in Sharpie.

[ 602 words ]
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[ common app short answer. ] -- I had a lot of trouble with this one. It feels dry to me... I think part of that is because I like telling narratives, and I used up my word limit only to explain things. I'm still over by 15 words, so I'd love some harsh critique on this.

150 words or less: In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience).

When I discovered that I could sell my digital artwork online, what started as a passion evolved into a passionate side job. My freelancing business perfectly married my artistic desires for improvement and my hopes to earn some money.

As with any marriage, commitment was key. With an expectant buyer at the other end of the transaction, not only was a timely delivery essential, but a dedication to quality was also. Fine-tuning my Photoshop skills took hours of practice, supplemented by both self-reflection and critique from fellow artists.

Still, thriving in an online market required an entirely new skill set. A need for ardent self-promotion conflicted with my humble, even self-deprecating, tendencies, but interacting with appreciative customers gave me a renewed sense of pride in my work. Each piece was as much for the buyer as it was for me, and now when I look back at that art, I don't think of the price I was paid. I only see the progress I've made.

[165 words]

Thank you for looking! (:
nemesis01 2 / 7  
Dec 13, 2009   #2
I think both of them are written very nicely and no, the activity one is certainly not dry. In fact it is one of the freshest I have seen so far on the site
OP Katsch 4 / 63  
Dec 13, 2009   #3
Thank you very much!

I would still love to get some more opinions if anyone has the time.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 14, 2009   #4
Yes, I have time! And thanks for helping so many other people lately...

There was wordlust in my eyes.

After you give us the image of eyes, and challenge our imaginations to think of what wordlust in one's eyes might look like, you should use imagery in order to show us something. Show us a scene by using other imagery words. You mentioned eyes, so show us something in that first paragraph.

Again, imagery words will fit well in this sentence, so that its idea is set in a scene -- perhaps at the location of the spelling bee:

In order to make the cut, a contestant must have extraordinary dedication and stamina.---> can you lengthen this sentence by adding some imagery words?

Here is a good image!---> The morning of the bee competition, I felt well-rested as a caught sunbeams in my open mouth with a drowsy yawn.

I think tis is great, and you have lots of success in your future, for sure.
OP Katsch 4 / 63  
Dec 16, 2009   #5
Thank you very much! I'll definitely try to add in some more imagery.


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