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Common Application Essay (Anti-Semitism)


dannyfwk 2 / 4  
Dec 9, 2009   #1
The topic I chose: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

This is what I have so far:

Throughout the course of my life I have come across many ethical dilemmas
that have affected who I am today, not just as a person, but also as a Jew. Judaism has
had a positive influence in my life. It's steeped in rich tradition, customs, and values.
Judaism is a part of who I am spiritually, helps me to understand where I belong
physically, and identifies what I believe emotionally. Judaism is more than a religion; it is
a way of life and I am always proud to proclaim who I am. Being Jewish, I know there
are many people who are anti-Semitic. Although I have had many ethical dilemmas, there
is one that I will never forget; one that has especially affected me.

I have been taught to ignore those who are rude and ignorant towards my religion,
however it has not always been easy. I was first affected by displays of anti-Semitism
early into my eighth grade year. It appalled me the way others my age acted toward my
religion. The Star of David worn around my neck was a target for bullying. I was not
scared to wear the Star of David, given to me by my grandfather, for I had worn it my
whole life. There was a boy in my physical education class who gave me problems about
my religion more than anyone else. Although he was in the same grade as I, he appeared
much older. He stood several inches taller than I with a medium build. I, being much
shorter and thinner than he, was intimidated by his stature. I could see the evil in his eyes
and knew he was someone who was up to no good.

The first day that he approached me, I was in the locker room washing my hands
after an outdoor basketball game in P.E. I heard him whisper under his breath, "You
dirty Jew." I did not know what to make of his comment. At first I was in disbelief. I
turned to him and said, "What?" He replied, "You heard me," and elbowed me rather
forcefully. It took my brain a moment to comprehend what this malicious 13 year old
had done. When I realized what his intentions were, a rage fell over me. My first thought
was to challenge him. Even though he was bigger and stronger than I, anger consumed
me and I knew I could hold my own. I was no longer scared of the ignorance that stood
before me. I was ready to fight for what I believed in, but I realized that I would be
stooping to his level. After I had contemplated the ethics of fighting him, I came to the
conclusion that I should ignore him. Doing so, I stayed true to my morals.

I am not a person who wants to be perceived as hateful or ignorant. I was brought
up not to judge anyone due to their race, religion, or views on life. Although that boy's
ignorance and naivety caused me distress, I refused to be the victim and to watch my
dignity crumble at his hands. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, and as a
practical human being, I would never expect everyone to agree with me. Even though that
boy's words were harmful and greatly affected me, it has made me a better person in that
I know where my loyalties lie. Ultimately, people like him can never be avoided.
Therefore, tolerance, to me, is essential in living a moral life.

I really need some suggestions!
Please let me know what you think..Be critical!
Sayeemin 1 / 5  
Dec 9, 2009   #2
You can talk about the negative influences (if any) that Judaism brought you then your essay can contrast with the positive influences.. There aren't many grammatical errors. You can broaden your conclusion a little bit and add - I realized how greatly my religion has protected me from going astray, made me a man on morals. Overall the essay was average. Good luck :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 10, 2009   #3
not just as a person, but also as a Jew.

That makes it sounds like you are saying Jews are not people! Revise, revise... :-)

Being Jewish, I know there are many people who are anti-Semitic. no statements of the obvious. I don't think this sentence is helpful.

Use a dash, here, instead of a semi-colon:
Although I have had many ethical dilemmas, there is one that I will never forget -- one that has especially affected me.

I have been taught to ignore those who are rude and ignorant towards my religion,
but it has not always been easy.

I could see the evil in his eyes
and knew he was someone who was up to no good.

Wow! This is a powerful sentence! But you still have not disclosed the ethical dilemma! I think you should name the dilemma in the first paragraph, so the reader does not have to be guessing what it is.
Dlev111 - / 1  
Jan 7, 2010   #4
Common Application Essay (You Dirty Jew)

Option #1. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

"You dirty Jew." Those words still ring in my head today. Though it was not the first time I heard such slurs, it was the last time I let myself be hurt by them. "Why am I the target?" I never provoked him. At least I don't think I did. I questioned why he despised me, a normal and respectful teenage boy. Was it because of my religion? Was it really because I was Jewish? Frustrated by his torment, I decided to take a stand. Although I had ignored his crudity, he affected me, particularly on the day I stood up for my religion, my identity, and myself.

I felt emotional distress every time I saw him in gym class. Every time I walked into the locker room, he lashed out at me with defamations. Brutish with a sneer on his face, he glowered at me as I stood in the shadows- as if I were an insect to be stomped on. His attitude intimidated me. After months of enduring his name-calling, his insults, and his taunting, I confronted him.

What began as a typical Friday morning, transformed into a profound moment in my life. Washing my hands after an outdoor basketball game, he menacingly approached me. Through the mirror, I watched him trudge towards me with the cocky swagger I'd grown to dread. He stood over my shoulder and whispered with malice, "You dirty Jew." I couldn't ignore his taunts anymore. I turned, took a step toward him, stood my ground, and responded with a powerful, "What?" with a force I didn't know I had. As I expected, he replied, "You heard me," and elbowed me rather vigorously. Although he was considerably stronger than me, my self-respect would not allow him to dominate my conscience. A sense of purpose consumed me, and I knew I could hold my own. I was no longer scared of the ignorance that stood before me. I was ready to fight for what I believed in. Through the murky haze that obfuscated my rage, I remembered what my religion truly stood for, and unclenched my fists. 


Instead of physically fighting him, I used my words to tell him exactly how I felt. I looked into his eyes and declared, "Look, I don't appreciate you disrespecting who I am. I've never done anything to you, and I don't deserve this." Though I expected him to retaliate, he actually listened. It was as if a different person was standing before me: he was neither offensive nor menacing. With my assertive tone of voice and indignant look on my face, I think he couldn't help but feel some remorse for the unnecessary resentment he had towards me. At first I didn't believe that confronting him bravely with a hard-hitting line or two would change his entire attitude towards me; however, as I walked out of the locker room he nodded his head, giving me a sense that our conflict was resolved. Speaking to him gave me newfound courage and solidified my sense of integrity. I will always remember how determination empowers me to speak my mind to any audience. I understand that strength to stand up for what I believe in is the key to ending personal animosity.

Although that boy's ignorance and naivety caused me distress, I refused to be the victim of ignorance, and to watch my dignity crumble at his hands. Even though these small words were hurtful, acknowledging their intent has made me a better person. Now, I know my faith and strength can prevail over narrow-mindedness. Today, I am proud to say I stood up for my religion, my identity, and myself.

Please let me know what you think!

thanks, Daniel
AnnAsburY 1 / 12  
Jan 7, 2010   #5
I really like this. It is really powerful. The only thing I you could change could be when you say

"Although I ignored his crudity,..."
The word crudity seems a little awkward.
Otherwise, I loved your essay.


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