Common Application ("He crossed my life")

Hey (: This is for the commonapp short activity (world limit 150). Can you please correct my silly grammatical mistakes? Any suggestions on the content or the flow? Thank you! Current word count is 204. How can I cut it down?

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He crossed my life for a very brief moment in the winter of 2005, but I try to keep him alive in my memory. I know nothing about him, but he inspired me to organize Not on our Watch Club with a friend.

I remember passerbys walking and laughing with their friends while he slowly pushes his antique cart probably looking for recycled paper or empty bottles to sell.

We see people like him everyday but we don't have enough spare time to help. That is why he inspired me to organize this club. I peruse people to donate weekly by depositing their changes from lunch into our donation box. Our club would hold Friday Food Day, the 23 of us would make specialties from our own country to sell in hope to lure in classmates to buy and donate. Besides using the money to help them, we also go personally to communicate with them. We have helped a lot, from beggars, homeless, the animal shelter, disabled children and recently we are helping parents whose infants were affected with the tainted milk scandal.

I never saw him again but I do hope he is well. Sometimes, a lending hand is all it is needed.

I remember passersby walking and laughing with their friends while he slowly pushed his antique cart, probably looking for recycled paper or empty bottles to sell.

We see people like him every day but we don't have enough spare time to help.

Our club would hold Friday Food Day, and the 23 of us would make specialties from our own countries, to sell in hopes of luring in classmates to buy and donate.

We have helped a lot, from beggars, homeless, the animal shelter, disabled children and recently we are helping parents whose infants were affected by the tainted milk scandal.

I never saw him again but I do hope he is well. Sometimes, a lending hand is all that is needed.

I think you should change your last sentence to something stronger. Good essay though, and good luck in school!!:)