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Common Application Extracurricular activity-Environmental Issues

DeepaJ19 3 / 8  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
Common Application Extracurricular activity(1000 characters):

Pollution. Deforestation. Global Warming. Hundred species of plants and animals have become extinct. Others are critically endangered, their future bleak and dismal. But can we step in to prevent this impending crisis? Can we make a difference?

I believe we can. And I have acted on this belief ever since I was six when I, with the help of my sister, started a local environmental club. From giving out hand-made pamphlets warning of the perils of global warming, I became a leader of my school's "Go Green" program and sold decorative articles composed of trash to raise funds for saving the Indian tiger. I'm also associated with wildlife organizations, like the World Wildlife Federation. However, these experiences have repeatedly revealed to me the enormity of the task at hand. I plan to hold a photo-exhibit on endangered Indian wildlife and to launch a campaign to protect the Himalayas. Through this, I hope to create awareness about our immense ethical obligation to our fellow creatures.

Is it okay?
metalstriker 6 / 16  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
Its a nice essay. However, the intro is quite typical for an "environmental issues" essay. I think if you shorten that part and put more points into the other part of your essay, it would catch more attention as that illustrates what you actually do.

Hope this helps. : )
lostboy10 - / 8  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
the transition between your introduction and rest is a bit choppy. maybe consider just 1 question instead of 2. this is good but i suggest you talk a little more about how you have gained from it or what it has taught you.

I would appreciate it you could take a look at mine!

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