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Common Application Essay about the Fashion Industry

Artlover1623 1 / 1  
Oct 18, 2020   #1

an accomplishment, event, or realization essay

Is there anything I need to do to improve this essay and make it stand out? It's basically about buying a jacket and how it affected my view on fashion!

Prompt: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Fashion was a concept that I just bothered learning about during a time when no one was allowed to see each other. It seems like an odd time to truly appreciate this concept since people see it as an art or an aesthetic lifestyle that other people can appreciate. I've seen many photos of people wearing outfits that beautifully go together on Instagram and Youtube and I truly appreciate the artistic aesthetic of fashion.

But there is a deep rooted problem within the fashion industry that I believe not enough people are aware about; fast fashion.

Over the very long summer break, I've spent some of my time looking at websites such as Romwe or Shein to get pretty clothing and items at a cheap price. I bought a bright yellow jacket from Romwe because the jacket was really cheap and I knew I needed one once winter arrived. After anticipating its arrival for a few weeks, it came into my life and quickly became my favorite jacket. The bright color yellow really popped and it can be seen for miles. The outside of the jacket felt smooth and the inside felt warm and cozy, as if I was wearing my blanket. I took every opportunity to wear it, even if the weather was getting hotter. But after a few necessary washes, I've quickly noticed how much the texture on the inside has changed. The jacket quickly turned into a warm rag that's been left outside after soaking in some laundry detergent. I still really like the jacket, but the quality of the fabric has deteriorated. I wondered why the jacket could drastically change so much, so I looked at the tags on the jacket and the answer was clear: 97% polyester, 3% spandex. Polyester has the reputation of being cheap, but it has a short shelf life and it's not biodegradable so it's not ideal to buy for a long term investment nor good for the environment. After a few washes, the illusion of a beautiful blanket has been burned away from the dryer.

It was one of the main patterns I saw on the website. After adding dozens of items on my wish list, I started to observe the materials used for the products and eventually stopped giving in to the pressures of buying that really beautiful dress on sale for a limited time between May 14-21. Many of the items were mostly, if not purely, made of polyester on Shein and Romwe. I searched up items on Romwe that were made of cotton or other natural materials, there was only a small list of items that were generally more expensive compared to other clothing in the same category. They also had new clothing every other day while a lot of clothes quickly went on sale and eventually disappeared. I was disgusted when I realized what I've been supporting for months.

Many concepts are a lot more complicated than what it actually seems. After reading through a couple of websites and watching videos, it was really apparent that fast fashion is contributing to a lot of waste. Since avid connoisseurs of fashion really want to keep up with the trends, they buy cheap clothing that they can easily throw away. Once it's out of style, its value quickly disintegrates to plastic, they throw it away, and the cycle continues.

It's important to think about the consequences of the actions we take. Something as simple as buying a shirt can have a long term effect on people and oneself.

So I think I needed a plain t-shirt to get down to the basics. I went to my local Target and found a plain t-shirt made of 100% cotton. I don't need to buy any more clothes soon since I need to start saving for a long-term investment.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,735 3072  
Oct 18, 2020   #2
Do not mistake the maximum word count for the proper length of the essay. It is useless to write more than 600 words if your introduction to the actual subject will take more than 2 paragraphs to get to. You should aim to create an interesting hook. An introduction that will reel in the reviewer within the first 3 lines of your essay. Fail to reel him in with an interesting representation of your topic and you lose his interest. He may opt to move on to the next essay since he has a target reading quota per day. You do not want your essay to end up in the "till later" pile or worse, in the reject pile just because your essays are over descriptive. Hitting 300 to 500 words is still the more appropriate word count for these application essays. The faster and more interesting your method of presentation, the quicker your application can be considered.

Take this essay for example, the first paragraph and the stand alone sentence were trying to create an effect for the reviewer. However, there is no impact to the presentation so the reviewer could care less about what you think about fashion and what the problem with the fashion industry is. The third paragraph, where the action actually happens and the essay finds its actual direction, works great as the opening hook instead. It is informative and moves the essay forward in the discussion.

The rest of the essay actually works very well to depict your period of realization and maturity. It is a concept that is quite clear in the way that you received your epiphany as you scrolled through the site. However, I believe that you need to better build up what else connects with that realization for you. Your overwritten introductions had more thought thrown into it than your actual realization discussion. So, if you can remove the early part of the essay and focus more on the realization discussion, you should be in a better position to discuss the prompt requirement.
OP Artlover1623 1 / 1  
Oct 18, 2020   #3
Thank you so much for the feedback! I'll get rid of the first 2 paragraphs and shorten the 3rd paragraph since it is too long. And I'll definitely add more to my realization, maybe something about why this is important to me.

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