Common Application Short Response(Activity-Cambodia trip)

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities

A little more than a year ago, I was a part of a trip to Cambodia. There, to contribute to their society, we built houses for the many who were in need of decent shelters. In the process of the construction of these nine houses, I had the opportunity to interact with the people of the village, which I found to be fascinating and impacting. As a girl from the cities, to see the place they dwell in came initially as a shock, as it was hard for me to imagine living in such extreme conditions. But through my interactions with them, I found myself envious of their joy in the simplest gifts I often took for granted and realized the immense value in the opportunity in education I had been given. This trip's and the people's contribution to my growth as a student is something I would never forget.

Please check for grammatical errors and give suggestions. thank you!!

A little more than a year ago, I was a part of a trip to Cambodia. To contribute to their society, we built houses for the many who were in need of decent shelters. In the process of the construction of these nine houses, I had the opportunity to interact with the people of the village, whom I found to be fascinating and impacting. As a girl from the cities, to see the place where they dwell came initially as a shock, as it was hard for me to imagine living in such extreme conditions. Through my interactions with them, however , I found myself envious of their joy in the simplest gifts I often took for granted and realized the immense value of the educational opportunity that I had been given. This trip's and the people's contribution to my growth as a student is something I would never forget.

:)

Good luck to you!!