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Common apps topic 1: Odyssey of the Mind


amyhr0311 2 / 6  
Dec 24, 2009   #1
hi (:

this is common apps in response to the first prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

I kinda need to know if those who dont know OM actually get what I'm writing about? and is OM well know in the States?

Odyssey of the Mind
My dream came true. I was finally given the opportunity to travel independently to the United States of America, the land of freedom and opportunities and the place where I hope to pursue my undergraduate education. Odyssey of the Mind (OM) presented me with such unprecedented opportunities. I was exposed to creative problem solving skills and interpersonal skills much needed for tertiary education. Of course, beyond being a platform for learning and exploration, OM also gave me some of the most memorable experiences I will treasure for the rest of my life.

OM emphasizes on creative problem solving and overcoming the challenges and setbacks presented to us. I met my first setback even before OM started. I was pulled apart from my teammates and thrown headfirst into a brand new senior division team filled with faces I did not recognize because of my age. I had always been a year older than my peers ever since I came to Singapore from China, but this age gap has never bothered me until then. According to the guidelines, I had to be grouped with the seniors in grade nine and ten even though I was only in grade eight. Initially I negotiated with the teacher, as I was not willing to accept such an arrangement. However, I realized that many things in life do not work out the way we want them to, so I tried to adapt to the new situation. At the first meeting, the initial awkwardness did not last long as I broke the ice with jokes and made a point to talk to every single one of the members. Soon the tension ebbed and by the end of the session, I felt I was truly being received as a member. I discovered that all of them were Chinese students who just came to Singapore for less than four months. At that point, I felt an innate sense of responsibility to orientate them to the life in Singapore, to introduce to them the different cultures, practices, festivals and best places to "makan" ("eat" in Malay). They in turn treated me like a little sister and provided me with valuable guidance in the technical aspects of the problem solving process.

I was both impressed and disheartened by the technical nature of the OM problem handled by the senior team, because I was initially selected in the audition for my acting ability and spontaneity in verbal presentation for acting-based OM problems. Working with senior members who are much more experience in electronics, construction and programming than me was not an easy task. Being a Top Biology student in the cohort did not help with soldering red and black wires into tiny holes on a little green board with undecipherable markings. Due to my lack of knowledge in mechanics, I was sidelined when it came to constructing the small vehicles, which were supposed to overcome five obstacle courses. However, I took initiative to learn more about constructing lightweight vehicles with CDs as wheels for increased speed in movement, and continuous tracks for stairs climbing. I also conducted research on the Internet and consulted with my father who is a leads an electrical. Being part of the technical team opened my eyes to a new world of mechanics and programming. This interest also led me to later study H1 Physics on top of my main subjects of Biology and Chemistry so as to broaden my scientific knowledge and to be equipped with the relevant skills for interdisciplinary scientific studies in the future.

On top of constructing electrical vehicles from scratch for the first time, OM also gave me many other "first's" of my life: using a soldering iron, handling a driller, visiting electrical components shops, travelling to the USA... Even though they can be daunting, I never stopped trying and enjoying myself. I grew to embrace the unknown and face new challenges head-on, notably travelling overseas without my parents, which excited me to the extent of having sleepless nights. At the same time, I was apprehensive about competing overseas and the challenges that came with it. In order to get ready for the International Finals after being crowned as champions at the National Finals in Singapore, we had to scale down our props and saw them into parts so they can be dismantled. Competing in the international arena presented additional pressures, which pushed me to stay later to rehearse the script and sew the costumes. Being the member who spent the longest time being English-educated in Singapore, I helped my seniors with pronunciation and diction. My past experiences in chinese dance and choir also helped the team to improve our script and acting standards. Working together almost 24/7 with my OM team bonded us like sisters as we learn from and learned about one another.

Despite having a few different team members during my three consecutive years in OM as seniors graduated and new juniors filled in the vacancies, I was able to impart the knowledge I gained from past OM experiences to the juniors. OM became my main dedication and commitment as we won national finals and representing Singapore annually in Colorado, Iowa and Michigan from 2005 to 2007. I cannot imagine what my secondary school life would be like without OM. My teams and I literally poured our blood, sweat and tears into OM as we "ate OM, dreamt OM and lived OM". Each day we spend nine to ten hours before, between and after lessons to work on our sets, costumes and vehicle propulsion systems, staying in school till midnight even if we had to wake up the next day at 6am for school. Time management became a crucial skill and prioritizing was second nature. Despite the heavy dedication of time in OM, I was still able to receive the Raffles Scholar Award for academic excellence, Merit Performance my achievement in Red Cross Youth Singapore, and Merit Service for serving in the Buckle House Committee.

During OM, we were allowed to unleash our creativity in interpreting the problem and creating refreshing plots, interesting characters and creative vehicles. More than being an odyssey the mind, it was a passage of self-discovery, a process of learning, and most importantly, a forging of friendships. The skills I learned from OM will certainly benefit me in college as well as contribute to future success in my career.

any feedback is welcome!! thanks ((:
nc08dkia 4 / 23  
Dec 25, 2009   #2
consulted with my father who is a leads an electrical

Leads an electrical? are u sure the reader will understand this?

international arena presented additional pressures,

not sure if presented is a good verb for pressure...how about inserted?

we had to scale down our props

what do u mean by scale? to measure the size or the weigh? u should mention which one u refer to, like " we had to scale down the size ... or we had to weigh ... "

which pushed me to stay later to rehearse the script

by stay later do u mean to stay over time? that would be "to stay late"

My past experiences in chinese

Chinese needs a capital C

we learn from and learned about one another.

try rephrasing this
maybe "as we learned from and about one another"

as seniors graduated and new juniors filled in the vacancies,

u need a comma before "as seniors graduated and ..."

as we won national finals

as we won 'the' national finals

and representing Singapore annually in Colorado, Iowa and Michigan from 2005 to 2007

This doesnt follow the last sentence, did u mean "and represented" ?

Merit Performance my achievement in Red Cross Youth Singapore

ur missing a word between 'performance' and 'my'

our creativity in interpreting the problem

"in interpreting problems" is better

More than being an odyssey the mind,

odyssey of the mind

it was a passage of self-discovery

i think using 'for' or 'to' is better than 'of'
"a passage for/to self-discovery"

This is an amazing essay, very well elaborated and i think i got the idea of what OM is. Good luck to you!
Mellzzer 1 / 14  
Dec 25, 2009   #3
"Working with senior members who are much more experienced :

"odyssey the mind"
Odyssey of the Mind? Since I'm assuming you're talking about the program.

"OM became my main dedication and commitment as we won national finals and represented Singapore annually in Colorado, Iowa and Michigan from 2005 to 2007"

Overall, I thought your essay was good, but maybe a little long? Not long, but there are a few things you could cut out. Just look over it one more time and decide for yourself if you think there are some passages or sentences that can be tightened up.
OP amyhr0311 2 / 6  
Dec 28, 2009   #4
hi thanks alot! i have shortened it by a lot now so i guess it should be more or less alright xD cross fingers!

thank you very much!!


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