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"Common good; poverty issue" - Bowdoin Supplement


divvya23 3 / 7  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
Poverty strikes, India cries and the cycle repeats itself!
For the last 2o years Indian economy has witnessed a high growth spurt. Kolkata seems to be at the crossroads while the Rickshaw pullers are at the crossheads. They are nothing but, economic refugees. Speeding lives, destructive markets and a state communist government overshadows the painstaking lives Rickshaw worker has to go through.

Rickshaw- a mode of transport for short distance travel has been an inexpensive medium for people. "Rs5 more sir, please", the arguments never seem to end, the clothing remains perpetually soaked in sweat, the stomach never full. Rickshaw workers in West Bengal are known for their relentless spirit , hard labour and never say die attitude. The Government's decision to ban Rickshaws has cast a pall of gloom on the affected.

This ban will render around 30,000 families homeless, tearing our socio-economic fabric and completely destroying the faith in the Government.
My Objective- To create an organization which harbours the need of rickshaw workers. To invite companies to advertise their products on the Rickshaw's, step up their living conditions and suggest new Economic policies to the Government to revoke this ban and take a step forward to making this venture into a productive one.

Incepting a new seed for economic development will pave way for global engagements and communal harmony. It will provide these tireless workers with a new sense of spirit and new hope to live for.
Lightning55 3 / 11  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
For the last 2o years Indian economy has witnessed a high growth spurt.

Get rid of "has." You don't need it.

They are nothing but, economic refugees.

Get rid of the comma; this is a comma splice.

Speeding lives, destructive markets, and a state communist government overshadows the painstaking lives Rickshaw worker has to go through.

"Rs5 more sir, please," the arguments never seem to end

harbours the need of Rickshaw workers.

I don't think its bad at all. Just a few grammatical errors here and there.

Also, you said the Indian economy had a growth spurt. The next few sentences seem to counter that argument. Maybe I'm not well at keeping up with news, but maybe you want that opening to be a little clearer :)
doyin1 8 / 18  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
your essay does not say how the place relates to you try to relate it to you that what they want you to do with the essay.

goodluck with ur essay am applying to the same college
OP divvya23 3 / 7  
Dec 29, 2010   #4
hey thanks John..yea actually the point im trying to get across here is that despite the growth there are backlogs in the economy! but thanks alot

hey doyin my topic is common good and they will knw that kolkata is my city so yea..!


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