I'm so bad at writing. It has so awkward style to it. Please help.
Work in progress
This essay is work in progress. No matter how well or how bad this essay is, it is still uncompleted to me.
For a long time, I had a subtle fascination with computer programming. Also, because Mongolian children are limited in how they retrieve information from the Internet due to a language barrier, I wanted to develop a website for them to use in learning and satisfying their curiosity on various topics.
Python. Should I learn this?
Bearing this vision in mind, I sat down in front of my laptop - front frame case broken, duct tape applied where some of the keyboard keys had fallen off; I have had it for over five years now. I typed in the google search bar "most popular programming language" and, sure enough, dozens of results popped up, all pointing to "Python." "Should I learn this?" I hesitantly thought. Consequently, a wave of negative thoughts flooded my mind. This won't work out! Am I wasting my time? Should I focus on my academics instead? With these apprehensions still lingering, I went for it anyways.
I have rarely been to a library as I consume most of my knowledge through the Internet, specifically from Youtube. If I have a question, I would opt to this site more than any other sources. This time was not any different.
"Python tutorial for beginners." was the first video I watched. I was confused beyond the atmosphere. "Syntax, string, and module." It was all new vocabulary to me, who had learnt only conversational English, so far.
These are all new words, new structures, and new rules, yet nostalgic. I pondered and I understood. It was much like learning verbal language. No wonder it's called a language!
Python was a formidable foe to tame, needing conformity of exceptionally precise order and law. Mastering tabs and spaces between characters, system of commands and functions, and how they interconnect was no less challenging than learning a foreign tongue void of a dictionary. One blunder and an error thrown at my face; rearranging the entire code was not an uncommon occurrence for me. A big red "An error occurred while executing Python code" message was vexing, anguishing, and petrifying, all at the same time.
After thousands of trial and error attempts, I finally got the gist of it. Suddenly, I found myself flying through the job. The frustration had turned into gratification before I realized it. The same old error message made me worked up - by virtue of excitement that lacked anxiety, almost like it was inviting me to a challenge: a challenge to create the most elegant solution.
As if I were a wizard who has obtained the philosopher's stone, I had acquired an ability to build a castle in the air. By then, I knew the meaning of "Syntax, string, and module."
However, a drop of water was never going to be enough in becoming the sea. Graduating from Youtube tutorial videos, I went on to read the official documentary for Python.
I had been lied to. There was much more to the language, from countless modules to intricate frameworks. That's when I first knew about Django which is a web development framework that has all the tools I will ever needed. I fell in love with it. It trimmed down hundreds of lines of code to just a few.
With some momentum, I had learned quite a few programming languages, with each and every one having its own unique strength and syntax. From a short code that performs data scraping to artificial intelligence that can learn to drive a car in a game, the things I can create only increased. Everything I learn is implemented into the site.
I built the site in six different frameworks. Unfortunately, the website is not finished yet. There is still room for additional quirks; it is work in progress.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Munkhbat, towards the end of the essay, you claim to be building a website based on Python. It would be better if your can work the reference to the website into the beginning or towards the middle of the essay. The website needs to show something of interest to you, other than Python programming, but also allow you to explain why you used Python for this particular site development. That way you can present an "interest and talent" as indicated in the prompt. If your essay is broken down into the following parts, you should be able to cover all 3 (optional) aspect of prompt 1:
1. Explain why Mongolian children are limited when it comes to internet information retrieval;
2. Use that explanation as the foundation for your interest in building a website for Mongolian student users;
3. What programs you considered learning then the reason you chose Python;
4. How YouTube helped you learn the program;
5. Where you went for additional information
6. The current status of the website;
7. Concluding paragraph.
Using the above list of information presentation, you should produce an essay that is closer to delivering expected information for prompt 1. It is more intricate and will allow the reviewer to get to know more about you, your learning style, and the type of student you might be at the university.
