"the complete story of my grandfather" - Help With Influential Person Essay

I'm not really sure if this is really good.

During our lifetime, we encounter thousands of people who have the ability to change our personal perspective of life for better or worse. These people can range from close friends or family. However, out of those thousands, there always happens to be one person that stands out above the rest and is responsible for shaping who we are today. The person who has made a heavy impact in my life is my late grandfather John D. Had he not shown me the true importance of family and given me the strength to never give up in life, I most would not have turned out to be who I am today.

I never got to understand the complete story of my grandfather, the hardships that he faced in a growing America while trying to raise a large family. It wasn't until I grew older that I found that he lived in a time where hate ran rampant around the south, as well as a time when the world was at war. I now have to rely on the information that he passed on to my father as well as the many others that lived with him before his death. However, I remember a nice man that loved to laugh as well as never stopping to show his undying love for his family.

I was born and raised in a military family. Thus it was not uncommon for one of my parents to get stationed overseas while the other was left to look after my sister and I. One day, my mother and father were both ordered to leave to North Korea and a question arose as to who would look after us while they were gone. My father eventually decided to call my grandfather and he was more than happy to take us in.

Though it is difficult for everyone to remember their thoughts and feelings as a baby. I still manage to remember the feeling I felt once my parents stepped out of the door. I had wondered where did they go and remembered that I had cried constantly hoping for their return. I had no idea how long they would be gone for, but despite all this there was one man who managed to stop me crying and that was my grandfather.

One night, it was storming fierce outside. Being a baby, the loud and unexpected noises of thunder were enough to make me cry in confusion and fear. I cried so loud that it was enough to wake both of my grandparents, along my sister up from their sleep. While they were getting prepared the wind was starting to pick up, and it was clear that there was a tornado within the vicinity. I remember that we all went down to the basement for safety, but I was still crying hard. Though the basement was dimly lit, save for the light emitting from the door, I felt someone hold me gently. I instantly recognized it was my grandfather. I could hear his voice gently trying to calm me down and within seconds I drifted back into sleep. As well as everyone else within the basement.

Over time I slowly started to adjust living with my grandparents, It was clear that they both did their best to make sure my sister and I were staying content. Even as I look at the photos that my grandmother took of my grandfather feeding me, it is enough to make my eyes fill with tears. When my parents returned I was extremely happy to see them after such a long absence. However at the same time I didn't want to leave my grandparents either.

While I was growing up, I began to much more focused on things that made me happy and simply trying to get things in order to satisfy me. In short, I was a spoiled brat. However, nothing made me more happy than getting the opportunity to see my grandfather. He lived with my grandmother in Decatur,Illinois a town that was roughly a few hours from my family's home in Kansas. Though, visits weren't as frequent as I wished, I still cherished every minute of it.

Unfortunately, at the beginning of 2001 my mom received her next mission to Grafenwöhr, Germany. What made things worse is that it turned out that we only had two months to pack and leave over to our new apartment overseas. Though, I was anxious to actually leave, I was not ready to leave behind most of my friends and family, with whom I had known for basically my entire childhood. Roughly, a week before we went off to Germany we spent the entire time saying our goodbyes to everyone. Of course, the most important goodbye was to my grandfather.

I remembered it was an early morning at my grandparents house. A few days before the flight to Germany. We had spent the night at their house prior to that day, and we were to go back to the apartment on base, which was only made available as a temporary location for those who were about to go overseas or settling in town.

I can still remember the hug that my grandfather gave me, and I can also recall the last sight of both of my grandparents standing and waving at us, as I peered back and smiled through the rear view. Of course out of both of them, my grandfather stood out the most. The image of him standing proudly and waving goodbye, to us still remains as the fondest memory from my childhood. It also, remains as one of the depressing because it was to be the last time I would see him standing.

Arriving at Germany was a memorable experience, I never knew of how different it would be from the US. The fact that we didn't have any friends or family in the country for the first few weeks made me feel alone. The knowledge of knowing that they were so far away, with communication being ineffective due to the big time zone differences, did little to help either. Of course, within months I began making friends at the school, and the fact that all of them lived so close within the community made me even happier. As the year was coming to a close, I felt that my life was finally coming together. Until we received a call later that year from our grandmother, telling us that my grandfather had cancer.

It was during this time, that we spent most of our time flying back and forth in order to check on the state of our grandfather. Though, the time spent with him was short it was always worth it to actually see him still alive and talking. However, overtime the situation became more and more hopeless. The most memorable of which was the last time that I was able to see him, it was obvious that he was dying and did not have much longer to live, but the fact he was still able to recall who I was and actually whisper my name made me feel as if he still had a chance.

It was the night of January 16th that I heard my mom get off the phone talking to my aunt. She came to me, trying her hardest not to cry, to tell me that my grandfather died and it was at that point where I felt as if life just came to a complete crash. I remember crying for days about his death, and the long trip back for his funeral felt as if I were going to my own. It was at this time, that I felt as if my entire life was over.

When I came back to Germany I didn't feel as if I were motivated to do anything. I felt as if life was just meaningless and thought that it was time I had just given up. However one night, roughly two months after my grandfathers death, I had a dream about him. Though it was short, I can still recall how he went up to me and told me "Don't worry Joe Joe!" a nickname he had given me since birth, and upon waking up I felt as if an entire weight had been lifted off of me. His voice sounded so clear and loud that I felt that as if he were still alive, still waiting for me to see him in Illinois.

I then realized that even though he was gone physically, he would never be gone spiritually. He still remains in my heart, and the past memories of him would always stay with me no matter what. His death made me realize that even though nobody lives forever, their legacy will always remain as long as family passes their stories down to their family. He made me realize that if I choose to lament on their passing then I will lose sight of my own life. I realize that family is important, and I should spend time with them as much as I possibly can. Had he not shown me this I would not become who I am today. Now, I plan to do my best to make my time on earth memorable, and when my time comes I want to go out with a sense of accomplishment. Hoping that I influenced someone as much as my grandfather influenced me.

In the first paragraph change the sentence "These people can range from close friends or family." to: These people can range from close friends and family to meere aquantances"

Thanks, anymore suggestions?

Hi.

I think this is a really impressive essay, to be able to recount everything that your grandpa did so clearly and present your thoughts so expressively. I can feel your love for your grandpa, cuz I too was brought up by my grandpa until I left him for another country when I was nine. Like you (no kidding), I wrote an essay about the entire life of my grandpa (about 6 pages) earlier this year for my English class. However, the response was no good.

Maybe my English was no good. But after I had read my teacher's comments, although disappointed, I was convinced by her evaluation. The first comment given to me by my English teacher was that my essay was too long. If reading 30+ essay was too hard for an English teacher, how about reading 10 thousand+ essays as an AO? The next thing she said was that the essay was too broad. Too many scattering images that did not serve any purpose were presented.


I did this in my essay too, but it was definitely bad. As a writer you want to be as concise as possible. Words are valuable resources, do not spam it just because you can. Use them to your advantage, make every one of them count.

At the concluding paragraph, you talked about your grandpa taught you to cherish people around you. However, that seemed to be the only learning point. Focus on one idea, like how your grandpa have taught you to cherish the people around you, and use the entire essay to prove it, with your own thoughts. Be creative, dun think about sad things all the time.


How did your grandpa make you realize this? Explore yourself further, ask questions and answer them, you will be able to discover a lot more about yourself. Don't lament your past on this most important essay of your life, think about how can you improve yourself and move yourself to a higher level, be it intellectual or emotional. I truly hope that you can get something valuable even out of this writing experience.

G L~

Also, this paragraph is highly expandable. Cut the part where you talk about your friends, and focus on your thoughts. Departure is something very emotional, get the best out of it.

Very Good Essay.

This is a boring way to start, not very interesting or original. Can you find a clever way to say the same thing? A unique way, perhaps using an analogy or metaphor?

a time where when

However, I remember a nice man that loved to laugh as well as never stopping to and never stopped showing his undying love for his family.

...it would be from the U.S.

His death made me realize that even though nobody lives forever, their legacy will always remain as long as family passes their stories down to their family.---- well, something must be able to exist forever; otherwise the raw material of which we are made cannot exist. I am pretty sure consciousness exists on and on. :-)

Okay, I would like to see you introduce a memorable theme at the start and then mention it again at the end. Give this essay an overarching theme.