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"Computer science and electronic toys" - NUS admission


shiv65 1 / -  
Mar 31, 2011   #1
I intend to apply for admission to NUS in computer science. Today being last date,an immediate advice is sought.

Sincerely following advice of my class teacher, hard work, determination and disciplene helped me in achieving excellent academic career in school and instilled confidence and sporting spirit in me. I actively participated in all school activities sports, social and cultural programmes, public speaking, essay writing, olympiad, exhibitions etc. I always remained in forefront when it came to public speaking.

As a child I enjoyed playing electronic toys,video and computer games. Visits to science and technology museums and interface with live experiments always fascinated me. My projects in science exhibitions were appreciated and prized ones. My interest in engineering dates back to my early school days. My curiosity to know about the world around me, interest in mathematics and physics, strong passion to learn and work in technology have been my driving force to pursue a career in computer science.

I learnt about NUS during visit of NUS officials to our school at Bangalore. Later I visited NUS website, read information brochures and realized that NUS offers what I expect to learn from my engineering college experience and is the perfect university for me to pursue my engineering course.

A college is as good as the students who attend and as a student with excellent academic background, I am sure that I will add to and learn from NUS and its flourishing environment.

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EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Apr 2, 2011   #2
Sincerely following the advice of my class teacher, hard work, determination and disciplene helped me in achieving an excellent academic career in school and instilled confidence and a sporting spirit in me.

I actively participated in all school activities, sports, social and cultural ...

I always remained in the forefront when it came to public speaking.

Later I visited the NUS website, read informational brochures and realized ...

I'm sorry no one got to this sooner, but if you have already sent it in, it was actually fine without my small corrections. Good luck in school and have fun!

:)
EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Apr 3, 2011   #3
I'm sorry I missed the opportunity to help you! Here are some ideas, anyway:

Sincerely following advice of my class teacher, hard work, determination and disciplene discipline helped me in achieving an excellent academic career in school and instilled confidence and sporting spirit in me.

Simplify:
My curiosity to know about the...

I think you did a very good job with this! It can be better if you spend some time reading the articles about engineering that interest you most. What will be your specialization? Maybe you do not know yet, but you will get a lot of good ideas if you go find 5 excellent articles that interest you. Read 5 articles, and let your ideas flow through your mind. You will then be able to get very detailed in discussing your aspirations.

However, I know you already submitted this, and I think you are going to be well received!


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