My major is Computer Science Engineering. I really want to know whether my essays had answer the prompt or not. Thanks
Prompt #1 (transfer applicants)
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.
If it were to have fur and not connected to electricity, I would sleep with it every night. I can't imagine myself without my computer. I touch it, sit in front of it, and stare at it for at least 6 hours each day. I study, eat, and stay up all night with it. It is the first thing I check in the morning and also the first thing I check when I get home from school. I have decided that my major will be Computer Science and Engineering because it will give me a chance to work with computers more often as well as provide me with a better knowledge about computers.
As a little kid, playing video games on the computer was one thing that I loved to do. When I finished with 6th grade and aced all of my classes, my parent saved some money and rewarded me with a desktop computer. It was just a bulky, loud, and out-dated desktop but I treasured it. Even though my first computer wasn't the best at that time, it was able to perform with a decent speed. Because internet services were expensive at that in Vietnam, I didn't have a chance to explore the World Wide Web and all I did with my computer was playing offline games. It was summer time therefore I signed up for a computer class for beginner since I didn't know a single thing about the machine. From then, I had a chance to learn typing documents, organizing data, and exploring the internet.
Couple years later, my family moved to the United States and started a new life. After three years in high school, I had excelled in most of the subjects, especially in math and science. I was also intrigued by the technologies which were available for most people and especially for educational purposes. During my last year in high school, I had a difficult time choosing what majors I will be study in college. Therefore, I chose to continue exploring my potential in a community college.
As spring 2009 arrived, this was already my second semester at Orange Coast College. During this semester, I finally had the chance to learn Java, my first programing language. The course was challenging and time-consuming to me, because I did not have any previous experience in the subject. I had to spend at least 10 hours per week to study and research for the class. I carefully read the lengthy and complicated online lectures which were provided every week and tried to understand the concepts lied within them. I quit wasting my time playing games and wandering around, and saved those precious hours for extra programming exercise, which created simple programs that do useful things such as counting words from a novel, calculate change for a cash register, modify words from given texts, etc.
After my first experience with computer programming and through making simple programs, I began to realize that computers weren't made for merely entertainment purposes but also for helping people solving real world problems. From learning how to program, I had had the opportunity to see how simple math and science were applied into creating programs that were simple yet helpful in daily situations. I started to explore and read more about the computer science major and I had set my objective to obtain a Master's Degree in Computer Science and Engineering because this was the area where I could combine math, science and computing together to build projects and devices in the future which would make our living more comfortable and convenient.
Prompt 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
Being different was the first thing I felt when I started my life as an immigrant. I and my family had to get used to different climate, different neighborhood, different cuisines, etc. Life in America seemed to go at a fast pace, I saw express checkout lines at many markets, fast food stores were everywhere, and especially the speed of cars running on freeway was as fast as a cheetah chasing its prey. Our family had to temporarily share a small apartment with my uncle's family because my parents were still unemployed. Living at a faster pace or having to sleep in the living room was not a major issue with me. However the one thing that I had a lot of difficulties with was daily interaction because of a different language.
People had trouble understanding what I said and I had difficulty understanding other people. When I was at school, I did not get all the instructions given out by my teachers and I was afraid to ask. When I got lost, I was afraid of asking for directions. When I was home, I was afraid when someone knocked the door to ask for something. I knew that if I could improve my English that would solve the problem. With that in mind, I was resolute to overcome this disability.
I had spent day after day improving my fluency in English, hoping that I could transcend my major weakness and adapt to this new life. I stayed home watching TV shows with closed captions underneath. Majority of the shows I watched were children shows. The spoken English in these shows was common-simple-easy-childish-speaking, but it was easy to understand. I would write down and learn words that were new to me. This way of learning had been significantly effective in helping me develop my vocabularies, listening, and speaking skill. I was no longer feeling nervous and hesitant when conversing in English with other people. The process of learning a new language had not just brought me closer to the new world, but also gave me the confidence and strength to overcome any other unknown obstacles that I would have to stumble upon in the future.
This is impressive from the start.
For this second paragraph, though, look at how much more impressive it will be if you chop the first sentence:---
As a little kid, playing video games on the computer was one thing that I loved to do. When I finished with 6th grade and aced...
That is such a stronger start for the paragraph.
Couple years later, my family moved to the United States and started a new life.---you should probably use "A couple of years..."
I began to realize that computers weren't made for merely entertainment purposes---- think this is still okay, even if you cut out that sentence about little kid games.
When I was home, I was afraid when someone knocked the door to ask for something. ---This is a great detail, the kind of detail that makes good writing.
Majority of the shows I watched were children shows.--Another great detail, but this is like the sentence with "Couple." You need "A" at the beginning.
A majority of the shows I watched were children shows.
or you can use the:
The majority of the shows I watched were children shows.
:-) I think you did a great job.
