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Computer Science faculty - Tell us about your academic potential and accomplishments.


beknazar 1 / 3  
Mar 8, 2011   #1
Hi, everyone! Feel free to criticize essay and give any suggests to improve the essay.

Q2. Tell us about your academic potential and accomplishments. (200 words or less):

I was born in a family of educators and from early ages I have deeply influenced by an academic environment. I quickly grew passionate about the artistic value of video games and the logical nature of computer games. Furthermore, I am fond of studying Mathematics and Physics as well, so I have chosen Computer Science as my career due to its opening, modernity and lots of challenges.

From beginning years of attending school,despite most classmates I was able to perceive lessons considerably faster and my form-master having realized that abilities used to give me extra tasks for home.Thus, our teachers encouraged me to take part in various Olympiads and I was worthy of their trust by becoming ranked high in majority of competitions. For example, the latest in 2007, I won Olympiad in Math among secondary school graduates in my city.

After entering a high school, I started to discover seriously programming and managed to learn a substantial amount of HTML and PHP, through self-teaching. In 2009, I was ranked first in the national contest "Kelajak Ovozi" (The Voice of theFuture)on web technologies nomination. Also, I was invited to participate in the conference "Google Developer Day - 2009" which held in Russia and had opportunity to meet with other programmers from all over the world. This year, I am taking part in an international competition "Google Science Fair - 2011" with a project on computer science.

Thank you!
OP beknazar 1 / 3  
Mar 8, 2011   #2
This is the answer for next question:

Q3. Among the many extracurricular activities you have done, tell us about the most important activity that influenced you (and the people around you). (200 words or less):

At the age of 14, I was encouraged to join a center of youth's initiatives as a volunteer to the section "Information and Communication Technologies". In the center, most of youth were talents and all of club members were organizing various seminars, activities and contests. After a year of my membership, our club president offered me to be at the head of ICTsection.

Before, joining this center I had had some problems with patience, responsibility and time management. Besides, I had been so shy that could not speak publicly. But, due to that youth's center I acquired a wide experience by conducting different type of arrangements. By being a head of a section, I have mastered a skill in leadership and organization and learnt how to respect others' opinion as well. Balancing class time and homework was frustrating, but somehow I succesfully managed my time.

Overall, by becoming a member of that club, I realized the importance of extracurricular activites for teenagers andthis volunteer work gave me a great chance to develop crucial skills which are needed in my near future.
Liebe 1 / 542 2  
Mar 10, 2011   #3
I was born in a family of educators and from early ages I have deeply influenced by an academic environment.

^Personally, I believe this is irrelevant and thus would suggest removal.

From beginning years of attending school,despite most classmates I was able to perceive lessons considerably faster and my form-master having realized that abilities used to give me extra tasks for home.Thus

^Grammar is considerably off here. Also, this sentence sounds more like a brag than a sell.

Thus, our teachers encouraged me to take part in various Olympiads and I was worthy of their trust by becoming ranked high in majority of competitions

^'Our' should be replaced with 'my'
*Worthy of trust=remove/rephrase.

After entering a high school, I started to discover seriouslydiscovered programming and managed to learn a substantial amount of HTML and PHP, through self-teaching

*In regards to your extra-cirruculars essay, I personally suggest an extra cirrucular that does not pertain to IT. By no means am I saying that this is the necessary or correct thing to do, however I just believe that showing interests other than just IT would show more diversity in yor character.

Nice one dude. Good luck
OP beknazar 1 / 3  
Mar 12, 2011   #4
Thank you a lot! I'll fix my mistakes
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 12, 2011   #5
I like Faisal's idea. Cut that first sentence, because it is not helpful. Then, you can start the essay like this:
I quickly grew passionate about the artistic value of video games and the logical nature of computer games at the same time I was studying Mathematics and Physics, so I have chosen...

Do you like it that way?

In the center, most of youth were talents and all of club members were helpful in organizing various seminars, activities and contests.---I don't know if I fixed this in the way that expresses the meaning you wanted to express. Does it seem okay?

By being a head of a section, I have mastered a skill in leadership and organization and learnt how to respect others' opinions as well.

:-)
OP beknazar 1 / 3  
Mar 23, 2011   #6
thank you! you've been very helpful!


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