Computer science and software engineering - What are your educational goals - Waterloo

University of Waterloo admission essay

Hey this is an answer I have made to one of my questions on my University of Waterloo admission information form. There is a 900 character limit on the answer. Can I get some feedback on it? Thank you in advance!

Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program please discuss your interest in each program. (900 character limit)

Pursuing a degree that is both challenging and fascinating has been a significant ambition of mine. I believe that Waterloo's renowned computer science and software engineering programs are the perfect fit for me in fulfilling these aspirations. Computer science has always appealed to me because of its emphasis on problem solving and the endless opportunities for creativity in building projects. I also find great fulfillment in working with others and contributing to a team, something that is crucial in the fields of computer science and software engineering. I also hope to one day start my own entrepreneurship with Waterloo's Velocity program and believe that with the business-computer science program, my personal experiences with freelancing, and the experience I will gain through Waterloo's one-of-a-kind cooperative education program, I can make this dream a reality.

The first sentence is an unnecessary introduction. You do not need to enter with an empty sentence. The first sentence should always push the essay forward with a specific response. This sentence is really a throw away, The presentation in stronger without it.


This is the educational goal. It needs to be specific and clear. Revise the early part of the essay or, even better, come up witha new version that will show the reader a detailed study plan that will result in a specific career goal.


Here lies the bigger problem. The aspirations ve not really clear in the essay. There was no proper academic aspiration, in relation to a first career goal indicated. This is another reason why you might do better writing a new essay instead.

Hey there,
I had to answer this question as well! I think you should concentrate on why you decided to go into computer science and software engineering. Personally, I don't think the team-working sentence is necessary. Instead, go in depth with your interest/passion in the major/program and elaborate a bit more with your goals (ex: entrepreneurship and possibly how it will change lives?) and how Waterloo will specifically get you there. It might help if you add in a reason and specify which aspects of Waterloo's program will help you get to what you want to do. If that makes sense.

Small criticism, but it might be beneficial to split the last sentence into two. That concluding sentence with the points and final statement really work nicely and should stand out on its own.

Hope it helped somewhat.