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Computer screens give me energy: NYU Application


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Jan 2, 2017   #1
The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

hiding failures



A wide and rectangular light shining upon my face had been the cause of my lifelessness. I was zoning out around midnight and began to daydream, as one does in times of blurry drowsiness. From what I recall, I imagined myself being a mutant who harnessed the ability to photosynthesize an illuminating LCD screen that had just been spitting out glowing movements from a carefully prepared playlist. Newly produced energy was ready to rejuvenate my eye bags and restore a restless study session. Natural processes in nature show that living things are born with amazing capabilities. While science is still working on making superpowers a reality, adjusting and thinking fast in tricky situations isn't new to humans. It was when my untimely moving eyelids had flickered into a disturbing rhythm that I realized my laptop had slipped from my grasp and shattered onto my bedroom floor.

My initial teenager response to breaking something expensive was to hide the evidence immediately. The past three computers I damaged in recent years were flashing before my eyes as I could already hear my mom screaming all the way from her nursing station at Bellevue. While I did eventually come clean to her, I found some creative ways of dealing with my predicament. When I examined the mess, the powered screen was blank except for large black spots of impact damage. This was when I had the hilarious idea of smashing it even more to cover up the white areas with the intent of saying that the now dark screen suddenly couldn't be turned on. This somehow seemed better than admitting I dropped it, but the end result ended up looking like a kaleidoscope, so new plan.

If time and lack of funds were not an issue, I would've gladly sent the broken thing to the Geek Squad at Best Buy. But after browsing through YouTube videos for DIY computer repairs, my non-tech savvy self thought, "How hard could this be?" Thanks to my old laptops, I conveniently happened to have identical monitors lying around to get the replacement job done. Once I followed all the steps on how to bust open the shell holding everything in place, it was a matter of switching the screens and then doing everything in reverse. Granted, if I didn't break screws or needed to obtain impossibly hard to find tools in the process, this wouldn't have taken me an entire day to finish. Then my laptop turned on, and I felt like one of the applauding NASA crew members witnessing a successful rocket launch. I was suddenly feeling a sense of freedom and control in life.

Placing fate into your own hands involves sacrificing yourself and what you can become. The reason I transferred schools as a junior was because my timid self strangely wanted to attend a considerably massive building. Credits to my mom for putting up with a crazy independent only child. From joining a sport, reviving a serious childhood passion in art, and the amazing opportunities I've been given in the span of one year, I actually couldn't be happier about my decision. An imaginary voice now reminds me that the potential for greatness never leaves. In regards to fixing laptop screens, this learning experience was only the beginning of my sparked interest into the complex intricacies of computers.

I've now become enthusiastic to the challenge of learning more about myself. For instance, thinking like an artist was already ingrained in me in the sense of acknowledging visualization as a practical step towards reaching a goal. Yet I've only recently come to know myself as a hands on learner who is efficient when given the right tools and formulas to work with. What is left to build from is an endless amount of wisdom out there to attain, which is overwhelming but exciting to look forward to.

Thanks for the help!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780  
Jan 2, 2017   #2
Gracielle, we have a one essay per thread policy here. Kindly delete the second essay before the admin does it for you. Start another thread on the forum, dedicated only to your second essay. In the meantime, I will respond to the first essay that is posted above.

The essay that you wrote definitely does not respond to the prompt. There is no failure here nor story of success. What you are discussing is something that does not fit into any of the common app prompt requirements actually. So I can't even tell you to just change the prompt. What you wrote about is an accident and how you responded to it. That is all.

When you respond to this prompt, you need an actual failure. For example, failing to perform a task properly, failure to pass a test, failure to satisfy your parents expectations, etc. These events or actions all result in a lesson learned from that failure which could result in not only a lesson learned for you, but also an opportunity to bounce back from it. With that explanation still fresh for you, let me advice you to do the only logical thing to do in this case, write a new essay. One that better responds to the prompt.
OP bb1707150 1 / 1  
Jan 2, 2017   #3
@Holt
Whoops. Sorry, I'm new to this site. How exactly would I go about editing this post to remove the second essay?

Thank you for the response anyway.
Would this prompt by any chance be better?
"Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution."
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780  
Jan 2, 2017   #4
If you still have time to use the edit button on your essay, then go into the Edit section and delete the 2nd essay. If you can't because time already ran out then leave it for the admin to delete. As for your query about the possible prompt you can use the essay that you wrote for, the answer is no. You can't use that essay for that prompt either.

You see, all of the essay prompts are designed to show the reviewer a sense of responsibility, character growth, logical discussion, or ability to handle adult type situations. That is because these are similar challenges that you will face as a college student. So the reviewer has to know that you have the qualifications to handle the scenarios on your own should you be admitted to their college.

The story that you relate and the solutions that you presented all portray juvenile irresponsibility and lack of adult mindset. That means, you responded to the situation like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It shows that your mindset is childlike and you lack the intellectual maturity to handle serious problems, situations, and challenges that will come your way in college.

In order to properly answer this essay, you need to show a sense of maturity, a respectful and academic language in your writing, and a relevant life experience that will show the reviewer the side of you that is prepared to attend college. The essay you wrote doesn't work because the prompt is not responded to correctly. You have to write a relevant essay response. This is one essay that cannot be made to fit the prompt because of the immaturity of the writing style and projected intellect.


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