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"concentration" - your favorite word and why?


marv25 1 / -  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
I would greatly appreciate help on making my essay better, so feel free to leave comments and corrections! Thank You

My homework is finally done. I have no more math, no more science, and no more English left to do. I look at the clock and realize I have time left to spare. I usually never finish this quickly, but then again I never touched the television remote or computer. Now I can enjoy the rest of the time I have left to relax. This is what "concentration" can accomplish.

Concentration means to have complete attention or intense mental application, easier said than done. Many people wish concentrating was as easy as procrastinating, but it is something that takes practice. The number of scenarios in which it can be used are endless whether it is during a soccer game, doing homework, or taking a test. Concentration cancels out mindless distractions allowing me to finish projects quickly or perform at my highest level under pressure. Concentration is my cure for procrastination or hesitation. Sometimes my performance on the soccer field is reflected by how concentrated I was during the game. I admit I am not number one where it comes to concentration, but I attempt to apply it to situations where I most need it to achieve success. I have admiration for people who are not fazed by any distractions because they get things done. I try to concentrate on what is important in my life because I never want to stray away from it, and what is most important in my life is my goal to graduate from college.
sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
Second sentence- Either capitalize all of the subjects or none of them.

Third sentence- add in "computer mouse" to match "television remote"

Fourth sentence- "and relax" instead of "to relax"

Concentration means to have complete attention or intense mental application, easier said than done I think it would sound better as "Concentration means having..."

to achieve success. Better to say "to succeed"

I have admiration for people "I admire those"
Great job! I wrote this essay as well.. Much easier planned than executed. Would you mind looking over mine? Hopefully we will both get accepted to UVA!


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