What do you think about it? It's not finished but I wanted to know if its alright to go this way. I really don't know if it sounds how it's supposed to. Pleease please help me!
College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
It all began with a perfect score.
I myself was quite amazed about it; being better than 120 other students is a huge accomplishment at the age of 8 (numbers are not that objective after all). Back then, 2 times 4 was not always 8, therefore I was accustomed to getting modest grades in math quizzes and not the big, round, written-with-pride 100. But I finally got it, and it brought me the qualification to the next phase of the competition; it felt like the whole world of mathematics was lying at my feet. Of course, my performance at that final phase was disastrous, but this was not enough to put me off and make me forget the sweet taste of perfect scores.
I would soon intuitively discover that mathematics was not all about numbers and calculations; it was about - what I would later regard as - logical connections, algorithms and creativity. Without any of these, the quest for most of the solutions of math problems (and life problems, if you think about it) would be in vain. Even though when I left primary school I had also left behind my beloved "best at math" status, I would still try to look behind numbers to discover and understand the story they told. It took me a couple of years to get the right answers again, but the feeling was amazing. Out of nowhere I was back on track, this time not as the best in my school but among the best students in my county; it was some kind of awakening, and I've never been "mathematically" asleep since then. The next year I qualified for the National Olympiad and I cannot stress enough how enthusiastic I was to find out I was one of the top 5 students; with a little more attention and practice I would had participated in the Balkan Olympiad; it did not happen, but I have not missed any National Olympiads since then. I met there the most amazing students, teachers, dreams and minds. The friendly competitiveness that usually surrounded us is something I would definitely like to encounter in my following years as a student at university.
I think you are off to a very strong start. You completed the first part of the response by describing your interest in mathematics and your journey towards the perfect score.
However, I think to make your essay even stronger you should reference some of the award winning mathematicians at Cornell and also discuss more about why that math program is so strong and why you deserve to become a part of that department. By doing that, it shows that you have researched the school and the department.
Hope this helps =]
numbers are not that objective, after all -----I added a comma
Back then, 2 times 4 was not always 8, and therefore I was accustomed to getting...
The first paragraph is what is making you feel unsure of this, I think. By the time that first para ends, you should have told WHAT "all begin" with the perfect score, and you should have clearly answered the question they posed.
Think about changing or adding to the last sentence of that first para...
:-)
