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'Connecting with other cultures' - Short Answer Michigan--Diversity Essay


cchstroy 2 / 3  
Nov 22, 2009   #1
"We know that diversity makes us a better university -- better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan. (Approximately 250 words)

Last year my family took on the responsibility of welcoming into our family a 16-year old foreign exchange student from Germany named Simon Bohnacker. My experience with Simon helped me to gain respect for cultural differences.

In addition to German and English, Simon was nearly fluent in Spanish, spoke a great deal of French, and could read Arabic. My respect for his multilingualism grew after our ski-trip together to Salt Lake City. On a bus ride back from an exhausting day of skiing, Simon taught me how to say, "I am tired" in German: "Ich bin mïde." Minutes later we realized the couple sitting across from us was also from Germany. I watched silently as Simon conversed in rapid German with them. Seeing him be able to change over from one culture to another in an instant looked very appealing to me. I decided to test my new-found vocabulary and shouted out in a loud, annoying voice: "ICH BIN MïDA!" The couple stared at me for a second, confused, then, realizing I wasn't another German, laughed pleasantly. I spent the remaining 45 minutes of the bus ride conversing with the couple by having Simon tell me how to ask certain questions in German. The joy I felt from connecting with these people transformed into a respect I still hold today. My bus ride experience was just one of the many valuable cultural experiences I shared with Simon.

Simon taught me to connect with other cultures. Because of his influence, I have become a more open-minded person, a quality which will help me embrace other cultures at the University of Michigan. Go bucks.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 23, 2009   #2
family took on the responsibility of welcoming into our home ...

Maybe you should not start with this statement. Maybe you should begin with a thoughtful observation about diversity itself, and your conception of it. to start by stating that you hosted a foreign exchange student makes this seem sort of "ordinary."

Wow, great topic! Okay, I suggest you start the essay with a sentence about multilingualism. That is great. At the end of the essay, use the word diversity.

This is an excellent idea for an essay!! I hope you'll make the beginning more interesting, and actually use the word diversity at the end.
TimMill 9 / 63  
Nov 23, 2009   #3
Capitalize "Bucks", bitte.
aguafria22 5 / 17  
Nov 29, 2009   #4
Your essay is off to a good start except for one MAJOR issue!!!

Go bucks??????????????

Please get to editing that immediately, should be Go Blue! Or Go Wolverines! But "Go Blue!" is the universal motto for University Michigan students/alum/fans....there is a warning on their website, nothing more offensive then getting the name of the school, mascot, or motto wrong.


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