The smile that would make my day, the prayers that would fill me with hope and the eyes that would always welcome me;
rephrase the portion, maybe you could say, The smiles I saw, the prayers I heard, the hope I felt....
I learnt a lot being the part of an organization; independence, self confidence and sense of accomplishment that came through my work, dedication, and volunteering have shaped me as an individual and a citizen.
make this sentence more concise
had on every success during fund raising
the joy I experienced during every successful fundraiser,
with the young kids of my age was phenomenal.
Reword this portion. It makes the sentence unclear. Maybe separate this the idea into two sentences.
I was scolded, guided and taught while all this and of course
Through the course of experience, I was molded into a positive and courageous person.
I continue working with the organization and I always find myself experiencing the delightful work.
As a result, I have continued working with this organization.