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"Why are you considering The Ohio State University?"


Kev92 1 / -  
Nov 20, 2009   #1
I want to write this essay but i dont want to sound to stupid. tell me what is unnecessary or what doesnt make sense please. (it wont hurt my feelings)

I'am considering The Ohio State University not only for it's prestige but for the educational opportunities. It starts from the top the President, Elwood Gordon Gee, is one nationally recognized as one of the best. Its good to have a humble leader that cares about the school and keeps it on track. There are many majors and programs to choose from. I respect the vision the school has to change Ohio for the better thru education it is good to know the school not only cares for its students but for the community surrounding it. Its mind-boggling to see a school that has so many resources so its students can have the best education out there. The great traditions like The Ohio State vs. Michigan rivalry is one of the best if not the best. It would be something if I could be apart of those traditions one day.
Jeannie 10 / 214  
Nov 20, 2009   #2
Now, the essay is OK, but it sounds too much like you are polishing apples. For instance, how do you know the president of the school is humble? Do you know him personally? Tone down the gratuities and focus more on the facts...by the way, what is the prompt for this essay? I could help you more with ideas if I knew what you were supposed to be writing about. Let me know.

Blue skies!

Jeannie


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