Special circumstances that affect your family's ability to fund your college expenses. A maximum of six 80-character lines will be sent.
Financially speaking, I can truly say that I'm alone in paying for college. My father is a 60 year old man worried about paying our house and the bills, while my mother spends her days building a home . A lack of transportation has made difficult the work possibilities for me, and the establishment of a new life started less than one year ago when my mother and I decided to come to America. The financial supporting of my mother is also impossible since neither one of my parents speak or understand English. The work possibilities reduce in a highly percentage . Because my parents are not fluent with the English language, they have a difficult time finding work - the source of income.
Comments on first short answer: I added "financially speaking" so it becomes clear that you are alone in terms of money - not in terms of emotional support. The addition of "paying for" also helped with that issue. I deleted "our house and" because "the bills" is sufficient enough to show financial struggle.
What do you mean when you say your mother is building a home? Is she physically creating its walls? I eliminated a comma after "ago" and I changed the clause regarding you and your mother to "my mother and I" because that is the proper order. I eliminated the last two sentences and wrote a clearer sentence for you.
What are some of your life goals and objectives?
A maximum of three 80-character lines will be sent
Lead my family to out of rough times by being the first one to attend college, give them the education that I never had, and support them to get out of the low-middle class.I also want to own a company while building strong relationships with people.
Before we go any further with grammatical corrections, you need to come up with more content. Your current responses are not sufficient, especially when it comes to your future educational plans. You should probably fill up the maximum allotted writing amount (character lines). Why do you want a doctoral degree? Besides it being highly prestigious, what about it will help you in life? Do you have any specific life goals that you can elaborate upon? Right now you have many brief goals. What kind of company would you own?
You have a good start content wise, but you would be better off if you brainstormed more content. I have corrected all the grammatical errors I've seen, but you should have someone review your final short answers again after you revise them.
Good luck!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
My political and economic writing can be found at teenagelibertarian.blogspot.