This is the one of my essays in its pre stages for Common App. There's no specific prompt for the essay. I would love to get feedback on how I can improve it. Thank you.
In the movement to break away from the archetypal structures of American culture,
society has sought refuge in 'the way of the hipster'. Many fail to realize that they are simply redecorating the monolithic structure that reappears every time the general public has decided it has become a bit too mundane. This time around the defining factors of the hipster movement fall into the following categories: all things outlandish and anything vintage. In lieu of this, an ugly Christmas sweater knitted by someone's grandma in the early 2000s is dubbed vintage, the fecal matter of specially fed cats turns into a gold mine for entrepreneurs in the cat poop tea industry, and listening to anything on Top 40 radio subjects one to social crucifixion. The harder everyone tries to distinguish themselves from each other, the more they seem to meld into a
featureless glob. If everyone is trying to be hipster doesn't that make it mainstream? Therefore, making the entire essence of the word an oxymoron?
In a world where thrift shops replace chain stores and Very Berry Fuchsia is the new black, I, too, was lured into practicing the customs of this subculture. During the summer before junior year I did all my school shopping online. I spent hours scouring the internet to find clothing I was sure no one at my school owned. I was successful in my endeavors. School came and everyone wanted to know what decrepit indie store I had gotten my clothes from. I was hipster in my own right...or so I thought. It wasn't until I saw everyone else debut their version of the hipster look that I realized I may have gotten the concept wrong. They were all carbon copies of each other. The abundance of large framed "nerd" spectacles made me think that
maybe Steve Urkel had merely been ahead of the trend. Suddenly, different didn't seem so
different.
Upon questioning my peers I found out that there was no definitive answer to what they believed was a hipster. Some said it was someone who relinquished their love of all things mainstreams to lead a simpler life while other said it was a bunch of attention seekers deeming their actions plausible under the clause of creativity. Baffled, I turned to the internet which bestowed upon me Dustinland's "The Theory of Hipster Relativity". The theory declared that "There is no such thing as a hipster on its own. A hipster can only exist in comparison." For example, a banker may be considered hipster by his cohorts if he wears flip flops with his suit as opposed to the expected dress shoes. It dawned on me that the term really depended on the context of the situation. Technically, each and every one of us is a hipster counterpart to someone roaming this planet. This information satisfied me because it ironically proves that a solid definition for the word would be, well, too mainstream.
The lesson in all of this? Maybe in the quest to distance ourselves from each other we are becoming the same. Maybe the key to being unique is learning to accept the faults in one's star as well one's redeeming qualities. Or maybe we all need another trend to tell us who we are.
the fecal matter of specially fed cats turns into a gold mine for entrepreneurs in the cat poop tea industry
This and the following statement don't fit with the list that starts with "in lieu of this"
Also, I have no idea what you mean and the cat poop thing is sort of a put off
essence of the word an oxymoron
paradox? oxymoron is like "jumbo shrimp" or "freezer burn"
Also, I wouldn't end by saying a "Here's the lesson:" sort of thing
Katev, thank you for the feedback. I only added the cat poop thing cause I saw it covered on the news. Apparently some people in California are dishing out a fortune for it haha but I guess I'll omit it.
Also, what would you suggest as a better way to end it?
