TOPIC: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
Dear future roomie,
I've been sitting here, thinking about what to write to you. I want to give you a good first impression, after all. I've been thinking to myself: "What should I tell her about myself? What do people like about me? What are my interests?" Two hours later, I'm still here, with no idea what to write.
I think my problem is that I do not have one, single passion. I love everything. Every small aspect of life brings me joy and excitement for what comes next. I try to see the good in life's situations and try to remain positive through the negative. If you are ever feeling down, just know that I will always be there to cheer you up and listen.
I love trying new things. My favorite foods are kimchi and Kraft mac n' cheese (not together). Just like I have tried so many different foods, I have also attempted, and failed, at several sports. I think my favorite would have to be running, though. I play the violin and enjoy classical Bach partitas, but my iPod is filled with underground hip-hop music, which I blast in my earphones on my way to school.
Maybe these contradictions in my interests stem from my clashing backgrounds: being half French half Japanese, I guess I was destined to be interested in a wide variety of things from the start.
Like I said, I like everything, so I know that I will like you, whatever your quirks might be.
So I don't know what next year's going to be like, but I have a good feeling about it and can't wait to call Stanford home.
Claire
P.S. I'm pretty messy- hope you're not too much of a neat freak!
Please give me feedback and let me know how I can improve my essay!
I'm at about 1500 characters, so I have room for additions
I blast in my earphones sounds awkward
So I don't know what next year's going to be like, but I have a good feeling about it and can't wait to call Stanford home.
Talk more specifically about your interests. You say you love trying everything but you only mentioned a few things so it's not super convincing. Maybe talk about some of the most out-there things you have tried; it will highlight your originality and maybe add some humor. Also if you end up needing more space you could talk less about your time spent trying to write it; it's not vital to the essay or anything. Good luck!
I really like your third paragraph. That one is by far the most personal and tells the reader the most about who you are.
I am not crazy about your second paragraph. "I love everything. Every small aspect of life brings me joy and excitement for what comes next. I try to see the good in life's situations and try to remain positive through the negative. If you are ever feeling down, just know that I will always be there to cheer you up and listen. "-this sounds a little superlative. Maybe giving some examples/anecdotes could improve it.
