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"Contribute To Life At Rice" - Rice Supplement


Awesomeness 4 / 8  
Dec 25, 2009   #1
The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)

The horseradish bottle that sat on the table contained a purple concoction of a peculiar odor. The substance, which is made from the root of a plant, has always fascinated me because it clearly has no properties that would in any way remind me of a horse (or a radish). This unique condiment, however, is significant for a much different reason; in the Soviet Union, horseradish was the only condiment widely available to its people.

It was somebody's birthday and, as by tradition, dozens of relatives flocked to one large table that was submerged in food. When my eyes happened to fall upon the horseradish, I began to think about the endless types of condiments available to me. Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and any other sauce that you could imagine seem to be mass-produced in little packets and distributed to your neighborhood fast food chain. As I sat at that table, I realized that I had grown up in a world very much unlike that of my family.

The world in which I live now is one of endless opportunities; I am the first member of my family to have so many choices for the future. My parents gave me a gift - a gift of life in the United States. Appreciation for this opportunity permeates my existence as I consider what most others take for granted. I appreciate what I have been given, simply because I know what it is like to live without it. In our society it is hard to imagine it any other way, but this is critical to the understanding of my background.

I was born in Belarus, a country that was part of the massive Soviet Union only a year prior to my birth. The nation that my family called home was a place in which jeans were a rare commodity, meat was a rationed good, and manual farm labor was a standard part of any young person's life. It is because of this that I am grateful for the abundance of possibilities that exist in my future. These opportunities that I have had have allowed me to develop into the individual that I am today. From soccer and orienteering to chess and math, without these opportunities I certainly would not be the person I am today

Among these possibilities exists one - Rice University - in which I am the most interested; I am eager to hopefully be a part of the Rice community and a residential college. Within my residential college I could contribute a perspective which would help create the atmosphere of diverse backgrounds for which Rice is famous. I would contribute not only my cultural traditions (have you ever tried beef tongue?), but also my unique perspective, a perspective which stems from an understanding of the opportunities which many others take for granted.

A residential college is much like a serving of food - it requires many different ingredients and condiments for it to succeed. At Rice I will be able to contribute my own condiment, horseradish, and in exchange, experience a variety of exotic condiments, from sriracha to harissa. As a residential college we will create a single dish - a family - from the diverse combination of different flavors, experiences, and perspectives that make up Rice students.
BreeaC 1 / 4  
Dec 25, 2009   #2
Hey I'm in the same boat with you, and I'm aware why it's urgent, because the deadline is quickly approaching!

Your essay was beautiful. I didn't really understand the purpose of including "...any other sauce that you could imagine seem to be mass-produced in little packets and distributed to your neighborhood fast food chain ."

The conclusion is excellent in my opinion, especially the last sentence. Good luck on admissions!
Esaias 8 / 37  
Dec 25, 2009   #3
Arent we all? xP Such a UN-happy new year it has been. Okay, enough with the cr*ppy joking.

Here is are some minor changes to consider.

Slight redunance:

I am eager to hopefully be a part of the Rice community and a residential college

Double 'which':
Within my residential college I could contribute a perspective which would create the atmosphere of diverse backgrounds for which Rice is famous.
Something like this ==> Within my residential college I could contribute even more to Rice's already famous diversity.

Not sure.Using active voice and maybe a re-phrase would be better. You make the choice
Among these possibilities exists one - Rice University - in which I am the most interested
==> Among all the other possiblities, I am most interested in Rice University .

overall, I think this is a great essay, great ending. I'm not that good with writing essays but I sure know a winning one when I see it.
BreeaC 1 / 4  
Dec 26, 2009   #4
Hey would you guys mind editing my supplement essay to Princeton?


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